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  1. Simpleton

    Pick a Lane

    That's all I want to see out of this organization over the next 6 months. This doesn't have anything to do with this season or this trade deadline, although it could if they make a certain type of move. But for far too long now this organization has been happy to play it down the middle...
  2. Simpleton

    Kenny Clark - Week 14 at Detroit

    You might be asking yourself, is this guy really starting a thread about a single game from last season? And the answer is yes, yes I am, because we're about 36 hours away from the opener, I'm tired of talking about Jerry, Parsons and his prissy agent, and if you just care about ball and not...
  3. Simpleton

    2025 Draft Chatter Thread

    Alright boys, a tradition unlike any other, the week we try to forget that this organization is run by a group of inbred megalomaniacal hillbillies in an attempt to enjoy the beautiful unpredictability of the draft. Normally I wait until about 36-48 hours before the draft starts to post this but...
  4. Simpleton

    Tyron Smith Retires

    Future HOF'ers get their own thread.
  5. Simpleton

    Cowboys Trade for Joe Milton

    No idea what happened to the other thread but we sent a 5 for Milton and a 7.
  6. Simpleton

    2025 Cowboys Free Agency

    Alright boys, it's that time of year again, the time where we theorize about what sorts of free agents could really bolster the roster while Stephen sits around with his thumb up his ass. To make it easy on you I've broken down most of the available FA's at the positions we should be interested...
  7. Simpleton

    Eberflus' Scheme

    I don't have anything better to do so I watched some all-22 of the Bears defense last year just to get a refresher on what sort of defense to expect under Eberflus. It took me a minute to think back to what our defenses were like circa 2014-16 because that's about 4 DC's ago at this point, but...
  8. Simpleton

    Osa Odighizuwa Signed

    We all know that we've spent the better part of 20 years bitching about how the team is incapable of finding top DT's and lusting over DT's in the draft every year like Jordan Davis, Jalen Carter, Calijah Kancey, Javon Kinlaw, Derrick Brown, Vita Vea, Justin Madubuike, so on and so forth. But...
  9. Simpleton

    Supporting Lamb and Parsons

    We all know the situation with Dak, good but not great QB, overpaid but plenty good enough to get us in the playoffs as a high seed, but he's never going to elevate a flawed team by himself to a Super Bowl run. With all that said, we have two very special players in Lamb and Parsons who are top...
  10. Simpleton

    McCarthy Gone - Now the search is on - Schottenheimer Hired

    I think we all know that if McCarthy is gone what is about to happen over the next few weeks will be anything but a normal HC search compared to what happens around the rest of the league. I have no idea what these guys are going to do exactly but I assume if McCarthy is gone Moore will be at...
  11. Simpleton

    What are we even doing?

    Pros: -One of the better drafting teams in the league over the last 10 years -We've spent our lives rooting for them Cons: -Ownership isn't desperate to win, and in fact only wants to win under their very specific pre-defined conditions -Ownership's baseline way of operating is to gaslight...
  12. Simpleton

    What to do with Dak

    On one hand Dak is pretty clearly a top 6-8ish QB in the league, very good but not great, and very good is worth paying in this league. On the other I think he's obviously scarred by his inability to get to the NFCC and beyond, and could be mentally fried in Dallas. I've gone back and forth on...
  13. Simpleton

    Cowboys Sign CeeDee Lamb

    We all know this will get done in the next 10ish days, and almost certainly at a number that 90% of us could have predicted for the last two months within a million or so per year. So what are you predicting the deal to be? So we can all laugh at how predictable the dumbass owners of this team...
  14. Simpleton

    2024 NFL Preseason Week 2 Gameday Chatter Thread | 08/17/2024-08/20/2024

    I'm not bothering with the title formatting, feel free to change it. Watching the Skins and Daniels looks very meh, checking it down 4 yards down field on 3rd and 11. He won't outright bust because of how dumbed down the league is now and he'll have success running around for a few years, but...
  15. Simpleton

    Mike Zimmer Hired as DC

    I think it deserves it's own thread now that it's official, if not feel free to merge. You want a real all-in move? Danielle Hunter.
  16. Simpleton

    Quinn Succession Planning

    Now that the Seattle job has opened up I think Quinn is almost certainly gone. I doubt he ends up anywhere else but I'd put the odds of him ending up in Seattle around 75% at the least. With that said, I don't see many slam dunk DC candidates floating around the league right now (maybe Evero or...
  17. Simpleton

    McGinn Profiles - 2023 Draft Class (plus Luepke)

    I was saving this for the deadest time of the offseason and here we are. The numbers are their position rankings according to McGinn's polling, not where we took them, for the most part I think the write-up's are accurate except some of the Mazi stuff towards the end seems over the top. I...
  18. Simpleton

    Mazi Smith Can't Pass Rush?

    I'm not a fan of PFF in terms of their subjective analysis, "grades" and such, but I do think there's some value in the pure hard stats that they compile which serves as sort of a baseline for comparison. Unlike the NFL college doesn't really keep track of "QB hits" and the like, so the closest...
  19. Simpleton

    2023 Draft Weekend Chatter Thread...

    Just under 72 hours before the Panthers are on the clock means it's go time, no more pre-draft threads here. Assuming the top 4 QB's, 4 OL (top 3+Wright), Njigba, 6 DL (top 3+Murphy/Van Ness/Smith), and 5 DB's (top 3 CB's+Banks/Branch) are all gone, give me your top 15. That assumes 20 guys...
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