So weird being back in California. I’ve been gone 3-3 1/2 months, something like that, and I just got a dose of some pretty harsh reality.
I’ve made the drive back and forth to Oklahoma now 2 and half times in the last 5 months. After living in OK for a short time, I just realized my town that I grew up in is TRASH. From top to bottom, just plain and simply trash.
I never noticed how terrible the roads and freeways are until today. I was just used to it I guess. I made that drive today after driving on smooth/clean roads in Oklahoma for 3+ months daily. Wow.
I’m almost embarrassed at how bad this place looks. Garbage lining the freeways, literal sections of freeway that are uneven and look like they’ve been pieced together after a massive earthquake. And there’s zero question, the air here sucks. It’s like LA 25 years ago in comparison to OK, just a hazy fog that you can almost taste.
It’s also very weird to be visiting for the first time even though it’s been a brief time being away. I feel so out of place. We’re staying with my mom and her boyfriend this week, then my dad, then my sister in laws house, then my brother.
I can’t explain the feeling, other than I don’t feel like I belong here at all. Almost like being at a summer camp when you’re 12 and you kinda just want to be back home.
Honestly I feel like such a fag, but I wanna go home already and it’s day 1 of a month here.