Good stuff, I can commiserate
here's a long trip down memory lane so TLDR warning:
I grew up in Dallas, Tx and was fortunate to have a grown up in a super diverse neighborhood (1/4 mile from the Cowboys old practice fields) and my friends were from the Middle East, Vietnam (the Pham brothers were that were small but tough as nails and played football with us as RBs and we all marveled at how resilient they were, they never quit and brought ever ounce of strength they had to the table, we all loved and respected those guys), Toby Sheik was from India and he had a sister who we were all in love with because she was beautiful and had hair down to her ankles. I was friends with Mel Renfros son in 1st grade and remember how sad I was when he had to move (I guess because his dad was traded or something). The Romo brothers were an awesome hispanic family whose mom came to every soccer game with a cowbell and I can still hear her voice rooting us on.
There was another guy named Sham Baggot (I cant remember how to spell his name) but he was from the Middle East somewhere and we became close friends. He was so mature for his age. He wanted to be the next Lou Ferrigno and was already lifting weights and dieting in elementary school, he was ripped and huge (at least to my young eyes). The funniest thing he loved to do is mess up his afro, turn on a lamp with green light bulb he had put inside and then flex while trying to impersonate The Hulk, it was a trip, he looked something like this:
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Unfortunately he moved away and I never saw him again, I sure would love to run into him & catch up
Then there was Kynice, a black girl who decided I was her boyfriend in 1st grade and came by my house most mornings to walk with me to elementary school ( I was kind of afraid to say no, she was pretty big and tough..lol. I can still see her getting in a fight with some girl in Jr High that was so intense she ended up having her top ripped off and she was still swinging with nothing but jeans and her bra).
The black brothers I grew up with were cool as shit and I looked up to them. They were funny, walked cool, talked cool, dressed cool, even had a cool hand shake and were nothing but nice to me (a goofy, insecure little gringo). One of the guys, Sammy Van Dyke, was HUGE even in first grade. He ended up playing running back for Arkansas U. I thought for sure he would go pro. Really great guy, last time we talked a few years ago, I told him how much I loved him and the other guys and especially their families and the black mamas who just exuded love and joy and made me feel so welcome as a shy, insecure kid. He was a trip, not even that great of a soccer player but was so big, everyone was afraid of him. He played fullback and would dribble the ball all the way from our goal to the other teams goal with kids flying off him all the way until he usually scored all on his own. It looked something like this:
We were talking one time and he told me how the girl he dated in high school (who was white) parents and her brother flipped out and called him the N word and ultimately broke them up. I was stunned when he told me this. He's such a great guy, gentile giant if you will, yet apparently he went through hell with that family. I was really sad to hear as I was oblivious while it was happening as I wouldn't dare ever say anything like that to him or any of those guys I grew up with. Not because I was afraid to or wanted to but because I care about those guys and would never want to hurt them.
I reconnected with him a few years ago and we were trying to coordinate schedules to go watch his sons football game when I got a call he was found dead sitting in his chair at home found by his mother (after his playing career ended, he got over 300lbs and I didn't recognize him when I saw him, I guess his heart gave out). I still kick myself for not taking the time to go see his son and hang out with him when I had the chance. His dad was a big guy that played running back too. HIs parents always came across so regal standing on the sidelines during our soccer games and I was in awe of them. They reminded me of Eddie Murphys characters parents from Coming to America:
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I could list a dozen more guys like this that are just awesome people.
I can remember sitting in the library of my elementary school reading a book about MLK while trying to hide my tears when I discovered he had been assassinated. I can still remember thinking, what the hell is wrong with these people, they must not have ever had friends that were black, because if they had, there is no way they could be racist.
I'm grateful for desegregation and growing up with the wide range of ethnicities, colors and characters I did. I wonder if I would have developed ignorant, racist attitudes had I not. I'm glad I'll never know
I've noticed that as we progress in life, what separates us from each other more than anything else, isn't racism, its economics because as I went to college then got a job, the less diverse things were. I don't believe it was overt or due to racism per se, It was simply a lack of opportunity due to financial limitations and thats a shame because like when we were kids, I believe if we still hung out, worked together, played together, inter-married, etc, etc we wouldn't have most of the issues we have today (imho).
but alas.....