“A JFK assassination conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, God welcomes him and says, ‘To reward your lifelong search for the truth, I will answer one question for you.’
“The man doesn’t hesitate. ‘Who really killed John F. Kennedy?’ he asks.
“God smiles and says, ‘Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone shooting from the Texas School Book Depository with a Manlicher-Carcano rifle. There was no second shooter and no conspiracy.’
“The man mutters, ‘Shit. This goes much higher up than I thought.'”