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NoDak said:
Your momma's so ugly, she'd still be lonely at farmers only dot com.


:unsure
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She's a cow.

Cows can't even type. How could they get dates?
 
mcnuttz said:
I don't drink coffee anymore, only hot guayusa tea.

Because I'm an uppity mother humper who's all about that herbal.
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Tea huh? Can I interest you in some sugar free Werthers or turkey bacon?
 
Clay_Allison said:
Thank God I don't have kids. My wife and I have no patience for anything meant for children. We hate their food, we hate their TV, we hate their music. It's all trash.
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Sounds like y'all need a package deal.

Tie those tubes and meet the smoke ball dragon.

Hurry before you end up with triplets.
 
mcnuttz said:
Sounds like y'all need a package deal.

Tie those tubes and meet the smoke ball dragon.

Hurry before you end up with triplets.
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Ball smoke dragon is greatness. Thanks for the reminder.
 
mcnuttz said:
SNL has actually been pretty damn funny lately.
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Hmm, well maybe I need to start watching it again. I quit it for years because it had gotten to where it sucked.
 
Carp said:
I know enough to push a button on my phone, then the ladies appear. Typically attired in a sun dress with cowboy boots.
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So you're accessing country music videos.

Rubbing one out in public is a capital offense in the heartland.
 
Carp said:
Tea huh? Can I interest you in some sugar free Werthers or turkey bacon?
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These tea leaves were harvested from the jungles of the Amazon.

It doesn't get much more gangsta.
 
Carp said:
Ball smoke dragon is greatness. Thanks for the reminder.
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^5

I'll never forget the smell of burning body tissue.

~reaching~

There go my guys!!!!

~ball smoke dragon~
 
Iamtdg said:
Hmm, well maybe I need to start watching it again. I quit it for years because it had gotten to where it sucked.
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Say, did you ever figure out what was causing you to lose teh funny?

Seems like that was over 5 years ago.

Might be chronic.
 
mcnuttz said:
Say, did you ever figure out what was causing you to lose teh funny?

Seems like that was over 5 years ago.

Might be chronic.
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What you are saying, I don't get, but I'm open to exploring it further.
 
Carp said:
When caught in said act I tell them it is a tornado warning.
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I'm in charge of emergency response in the office.

Thanks for the pro tip.

I've got another one to add to the "how to tell it's really a tornado" file.
 
mcnuttz said:
I'm in charge of emergency response in the office.

Thanks for the pro tip.

I've got another one to add to the "how to tell it's really a tornado" file.
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:lol
 
mcnuttz said:
^5

I'll never forget the smell of burning body tissue.

~reaching~

There go my guys!!!!

~ball smoke dragon~
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I think I shared the story, but my vasectomy was funny as hell. Bottom line, I knew the doc and tech who did it well. Good friends with the tech...and when the smoke came up from my sack it made a beeline straight for his face and he got woozy from the smell of burning balls. Doc yelled at him to get out of the room ASAP. I held that over his head for years, that he deeply inhaled my balls.
 
mcnuttz said:
I'm in charge of emergency response in the office.

Thanks for the pro tip.

I've got another one to add to the "how to tell it's really a tornado" file.
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In this scenario, it goes from tornado warning to flash flood warning in an instant.
 
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