One thing I have realized through this shit is, when you have anxiety, the little things hurt like they never did before. Shit like, "damn, I really need to mow the yard", which before would not really hit the radar all that much becomes, "I'm a fucking terrible man that can't keep his own house in order". I have started making strides to not let the little shit bother me. It's tough for me, because I am a workaholic and a perfectionist, and let me tell you, that shit is exhausting.
I am doing okay now. Not great, but god damn sure better than I was. It's a daily effort that doesn't seem to go away, but I am getting better I feel.
Hell, the brain is a crazy fucking thing. I was all the way to blaming coffee for me having the heart palpitations. Nah, it's not physiological, but I damn sure wanted it to be because that is much easier to blame and fix than phycological issues. Oh, so it's coffee, well then fuck coffee, and I'm better. It's a myriad of things when it's mental. The tiniest of things that wouldn't have even been a blip before become some demon you have to conquer, and it's just not true.
That's all for my update.