Hillary Clinton: I paid for a hit piece aimed at making Trump look like a Russian asset to help me win this election.
Obama/Biden/Clapper/Brennan/Comey: So?
Hillary: Michael Sussman is going to present it to Jim Baker and claim it’s info that absolutely is not from my campaign, he’ll pose as a concerned citizen.
Obama/Biden/Clapper/Brennan/Comey: ok, and?
Hillary: When Baker brings this up, treat it as a legitimate issue that needs questioning. That will legitimize the dossier.
Comey: Ok, but what happens when we look into the source and it’s clear that it’s politically motivated?
Hillary: That won’t happen if you don’t look into the source.
Obama/Biden/clapper/Brennan/Comey: Ah, play stupid?
Hillary: Exactly. None of this will be revealed after I win the election. We’ll have plenty of time to bury this and nobody will be the wiser.
Obama/Biden/clapper/Brennan/Comey: You do realize that this will involve the collaboration of every 3 letter agency in the federal government and basically boils down to treason? The FBI has to launch an investigation, obtain FISA warrants by falsifying documents, ask the CIA questions and ignore their feedback? That’s a lot.
Hillary: Did you miss the part about how I win and nobody ever finds out?
Obama: Comey, you take lead on this. Advance it up the ranks and it takes priority. Bill is meeting with Lynch next week in Arizona, she’ll be told to hand the responsibilities on charges in Hillary’s case to you. You’ll determine no sensible prosecutor would prosecute, that puts that to bed. Then run with this. Have your best guys brought up to speed. You have anyone in mind?
Comey: A few. Andy McCabe and Peter Strzok. You want these two on this. Strzok is banging an FBI lawyer who openly hates Trump also, so I’ll make sure she’s on this. I can handle my end.
Obama: Clapper? Brennan?
Clapper: You write the script, I have an open invitation to go on MSNBC and CNN whenever I have something to say.
Brennan: Same. I know how to play ball.
Biden: Who shit my pants?
Obama: Joe, you did. It’s always you. Nobody takes your pants, puts them on, shits them, then gives them back to you. You shit your pants. Jesus Christ.
Hillary: Michael Sussman is delivering the package to Jim Baker Friday. As soon as news breaks on this, I’m going to send out a tweet. Once that happens, there’s no turning back. This meeting never happened, but this doesn’t stop until after the election and we begin the clean up process.
Obama/Biden/Clapper/Brennan/Comey: agreed.
-Election night 2016-
Obama/Biden/clapper/Brennan/Comey/Hillary/Michael Sussman: Collective assholes puckering.
Nothing happens to anyone involved. How does that sit right with anyone?