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I might go full on Cosby for Valentine's...buy some pudding pops, wear a nice sweater, then say this is going to happen one way or another.
 
I hope she doesn't have a nasty intestinal reaction due to your minor league sushi making skills.

Are you going to catch your own fish?

If he does catch teh diarrhea it will be okay since he bought himself a buttplug for Christmas last year.
 
Woman peer pressure is the worst. Next time that happens come home for work and kick over a chair. Tell her the guys at work were talking about how their wives swallowed on V day for them and that you were really embarrassed that you had no stories to tell.

This is fucking brilliant.
 
Sounds like someone's gonna go painfully overboard this year.

Nothing planned yet, but yeah there will be something delivered to her office. Which at that point she will probably come home and chastise me for sending her something that will die or make her fat. :picard
 
I might go full on Cosby for Valentine's...buy some pudding pops, wear a nice sweater, then say this is going to happen one way or another.

:lol

Damn.
 
Woman peer pressure is the worst. Next time that happens come home for work and kick over a chair. Tell her the guys at work were talking about how their wives swallowed on V day for them and that you were really embarrassed that you had no stories to tell.

Are you a doctor of the mind?

Maybe a wizard?
 
The weirdest thing is happening to me right now...we have an indoor track at our gym, nice, in an old hangar...that is not important. Anyways, when I run I have no gas, but if I am about to pass someone I instantly have to fart. I think it is a defense mechanism for my body, just wish I could harness this power.
 
I might go full on Cosby for Valentine's...buy some pudding pops, wear a nice sweater, then say this is going to happen one way or another.

You don't have to say it, she'll know when she wakes up with her panties at her ankles as she tries to crawl out of the backseat of the T&C.
 
I don't normally fart in my office, but when I do it's right before someone walks in.
 
If he does catch teh diarrhea it will be okay since he bought himself a buttplug for Christmas last year.

Is it customary to by yourself a Christmas present in some parts of the U.S.?

And how do you decide on a buttplug?
 
You don't have to say it, she'll know when she wakes up with her panties at her ankles as she tries to crawl out of the backseat of the T&C.

Get with the times bro...I drive a CR-V now.
 
Nothing planned yet, but yeah there will be something delivered to her office. Which at that point she will probably come home and chastise me for sending her something that will die or make her fat. :picard

Artificial flowers live forever.
 
You don't have to say it, she'll know when she wakes up with her panties at her ankles as she tries to crawl out of the backseat of the T&C.

SURPRISE!!! BUTT SECKS!!!!

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Is it customary to by yourself a Christmas present in some parts of the U.S.?

And how do you decide on a buttplug?

Don't ask me, ask the white-shoed one.
 
The weirdest thing is happening to me right now...we have an indoor track at our gym, nice, in an old hangar...that is not important. Anyways, when I run I have no gas, but if I am about to pass someone I instantly have to fart. I think it is a defense mechanism for my body, just wish I could harness this power.

You're like a squid or a skunk. So I wouldn't be too concerned about it, as it's a natural reaction and no one can hate on you for something that is natural.

Please tell us more about the hangar. Do they also have racquetball?
 
I don't normally fart in my office, but when I do it's right before someone walks in.

I don't hold my farts in.

For anyone.

But's it usually my boss who finds out.
 
You're like a squid or a skunk. So I wouldn't be too concerned about it, as it's a natural reaction and no one can hate on you for something that is natural.

Please tell us more about the hangar. Do they also have racquetball?

They have racquetball, 4 tennis courts, a crazy amount of cardio machine, lots of weights, a pool, and a pond. The pond would be good for you.
 
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