In Memoriam - Mrs. Tony D (Mo)

Tony D said:
Oh man, thank you guys for this. I don't know, it just feels better to talk about it and let people know. I don't know you guys, but I do.

If you'd ask me what's the worst thing you think of that could happen to me. This is it. I'm fucked. I'll never be the same again. She was my soul mate. I'll get through it, but it's going to be hard. Make fun if you wish, but we did everything together. Except watch the Cowboys.
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I can't help directly with the pain you have to be going through right now (nobody can), but anything I can do, I will. I'm going to move this thread and sticky it (into the VIP forum so no one but us sees it) to make it easier to find for you and anyone else that needs it to just talk. Nobody here will ever make fun of you. If they did I wouldn't have to ban them. The rest of the guys on this board would make very short order of them. I have been very open in the past about things that have and are happening to me personally (anxiety, alcohol) and these guys helped me through it. You won't find a tighter knit bunch than the boys here (as you well know). We have just known each other so long it's natural to be more open about certain things.

As Chapo said, if you ever feel the need to talk about anything, even if it is as simple as something you guys ate on a certain day use this thread and talk about it if you feel the need. You might be surprised with how many guys on here might have that in common with you that you wouldn't think would. If you don't want to talk about certain things even in the VIP forum you should feel at ease enough to PM someone. I, for one, would be honored to talk to you if needed. I know most of the other guys would as well. Again, my deepest condolences, brother. We are here if needed.
 
Tony D said:
Oh man, thank you guys for this. I don't know, it just feels better to talk about it and let people know. I don't know you guys, but I do.

If you'd ask me what's the worst thing you think of that could happen to me. This is it. I'm fucked. I'll never be the same again. She was my soul mate. I'll get through it, but it's going to be hard. Make fun if you wish, but we did everything together. Except watch the Cowboys.
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You are most definitely not fucked, Tony.

You experienced her.
 
Tony, my heart goes out to you brother. I can’t imagine the feelings going through your head right now. I’m part of a very privileged group here at DCC, a group where a man can pour his heart out to other men and be met with comfort and compassion. We are here for you my friend. I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m sure your wife was your world. Always remember that you were hers too.

Someone will always be here if you need to talk. I have no real advice for you, but I can listen. You definitely aren’t alone, and you will make through this.
 
Hey, has anybody heard from Tony? I sent him a message yesterday but he hasn't responded.
 
Cujo said:
Hey, has anybody heard from Tony? I sent him a message yesterday but he hasn't responded.
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He hasn't logged in since yesterday at 5:37pm. SO he may not have seen it yet. But no I haven't heard from him.
 
I'm here guys. Just a lot going on. All rhe bullshit needed after something like this happens. We don't live in our hometowns so people are coming down more each day. Family and friends. Once we know when the services will be more will then come down.

I'm fucking numb and it doesn't seem real. I'm grieving, but I think the real grieving will be once everyone leaves and it really hits me. She talked me into getting a dog 3 years ago and I'm so glad. She's going to be my lifesaver.

Kids are all adults. Have 4 grandkids whom she just adored. 3 are younger and don't really get it and one is in college in NYC who is devastated. We helped raise her and she counted on my wife for a lot.

I need this thread to live a long time. For things like this. Just typing out what I'm thinking and feeling helps immensely.
 
Tony D said:
I'm here guys. Just a lot going on. All rhe bullshit needed after something like this happens. We don't live in our hometowns so people are coming down more each day. Family and friends. Once we know when the services will be more will then come down.

I'm fucking numb and it doesn't seem real. I'm grieving, but I think the real grieving will be once everyone leaves and it really hits me. She talked me into getting a dog 3 years ago and I'm so glad. She's going to be my lifesaver.

Kids are all adults. Have 4 grandkids whom she just adored. 3 are younger and don't really get it and one is in college in NYC who is devastated. We helped raise her and she counted on my wife for a lot.

I need this thread to live a long time. For things like this. Just typing out what I'm thinking and feeling helps immensely.
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Brother, this thread is going nowhere. But, we will keep it active how you want it kept active. If you think it will help you we will share our losses. If you want us to keep it going to share our memories of loved ones we will do that. If you want us to just act like idiots like we do in the Test thread we are good at that and will do that. You say the word and that's what will happen. But, we will only keep this thread going how you want it done.
 
The services are on Sunday. Like I said we don't live where we we grew up, but we have so many friends and family here and more to come. Makes me feel good they are all making the trip from up north. Shows just how much she was loved.

I'm working on a eulogy. It's really the most important thing I'm going to do in my life. I won't be able to make it through it without breaking down. I have to honor her as best I can because nobody deserves it more than her.

I've been thinking about posting her obituary here. I've always wanted to keep that anonymity on the board My name isn't even Tony. That was for Tony Dorsett. But at this point who the hell gives a shit?
 
@Tony D

Just wanted to remind you that prayers are being sent your way.

I know there is nothing in the world that is going to make you feel any better right now, but I hope it's the little things that you can take solace in at this very difficult time.

Hang in there, brother.
 
Tony I’m so sorry to hear this. I apologize I’m so late seeing this but I’ve been out in Alabama hog hunting with little access to phone service.
These kinds of deaths are a shock to the system. It happened to me…came home and found my fiancée dead at just 30 years old. No explanation at the time. Still haunted to this day but you have to motor on. It’s tough man, but you WILL be ok. It just takes time.
 
Well, the funeral went as well as could be expected. It was a blur. So many people showed up from out of town which made me feel good.

The pastor who officiated came up to me afterwards and said my eulogy was something special and he's done hundreds of these and very rarely does the husband even get up to speak which I was surprised by. I had to do it for me because nobody I know deserved it more. I was honored to celebrate her life. I kept it together as best I could. I had to for my 19 year old granddaughter who was extremely close to both of us. She went up and spoke as well and I am so, so proud of her. They had a bond that was really special.

Everyone had left except my mom and stepdad. They leave tomorrow and the real grieving process will kick in. The new normal of not having her here with me will become a reality. I need the alone time though.
 
Tony D said:
Well, the funeral went as well as could be expected. It was a blur. So many people showed up from out of town which made me feel good.

The pastor who officiated came up to me afterwards and said my eulogy was something special and he's done hundreds of these and very rarely does the husband even get up to speak which I was surprised by. I had to do it for me because nobody I know deserved it more. I was honored to celebrate her life. I kept it together as best I could. I had to for my 19 year old granddaughter who was extremely close to both of us. She went up and spoke as well and I am so, so proud of her. They had a bond that was really special.

Everyone had left except my mom and stepdad. They leave tomorrow and the real grieving process will kick in. The new normal of not having her here with me will become a reality. I need the alone time though.
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I commend you, man. I highly doubt I would have been able to give my wife's eulogy. That took a lot of courage. Many props to you.
 
Same as above. I couldn't speak at my father's or mother's funeral.

You are correct, though. Our spouses deserve it and I commend you for having the strength to do it.
 
Tony D said:
Well, the funeral went as well as could be expected. It was a blur. So many people showed up from out of town which made me feel good.

The pastor who officiated came up to me afterwards and said my eulogy was something special and he's done hundreds of these and very rarely does the husband even get up to speak which I was surprised by. I had to do it for me because nobody I know deserved it more. I was honored to celebrate her life. I kept it together as best I could. I had to for my 19 year old granddaughter who was extremely close to both of us. She went up and spoke as well and I am so, so proud of her. They had a bond that was really special.

Everyone had left except my mom and stepdad. They leave tomorrow and the real grieving process will kick in. The new normal of not having her here with me will become a reality. I need the alone time though.
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That's awesome that you spoke. I admire that quite a lot.
 
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