DCC Entrance Exam

[data]

Poster: Cowboy Hank
Date: December 13, 2013
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Grades:

Optimist (1) or Pessimist (5): 3.5
Lurker (1) or Frequent Poster (5): 3.0
Participation in non-Cowboys Threads (1 least - 5 most): 2.0
Predicted Ally: Iamtdg
Predicted Enemy: Carp

Overall: Tries too hard. Will be a frequent poster until first argument - most likely about CBs/DLs. Pisses on the toilet seat and doesn't wipe up; rinses hands and no soap.

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1. Favorite Cowboys player of All-Time – Charlie Waters

2. Cowboys Player You Hate – Ken Norton Jr.

3. Favorite Recipe – My wife’s Cajun Chicken Alfredo

4. Best Cowboys coach of All-Time -- Landry

5. What does 'BATG' stand for? Probably a video game or RPG, which means I have no idea.

6. Favorite BATG: See #5
a. BATG - The Chronicles
b. BATG II - Havana Nights
c. BATG III - Remaking Morocco
d. BATG IV - Saving the Earth & Shit

7. Jerry Jones is a: C, but only since Al Davis is dead
a. Great owner, horrible GM
b. Great owner and average/good/great GM
c. One of the worst owners and GMs in the league

8. I'm __________, ya dumbasses: E, but will probably be (A) and (B) later
a. drunk
b. at your mom's house
c. inebriated
d. terrified
e. None of the above

9. Which word is spelled correctly? D
a. tadamount
b. whitten
c. ludicre
d. meskin

10. What's a reputable source? Bryan Broaddus
a. Mel Kiper
b. CNN/SI
c. Wikipedia
d. The Sporting News
e. LBOH

11. Which player is famous for yelling "Teh SHOVELL!!!!" No idea.
a. Dat Nguyen
b. Dexter Coakley
c. Hollywood Henderson
d. Matt Vanderbeek
e. Dixon Edwards

12. Name your favorite: Ric Flair Strut
a. Mr. Furley sniff
b. Ultimate Warrior
c. kk thx bai bai no re
d. Ric Flair strut
e. Ric Flair "GET OUT HERE"

13. Favorite Team-Building Activity: D
a. Punching a time clock
b. Going to Sea World
c. Corralling a greased pig
d. Inviting HBO over to film

14. Drinking milk after eating hot wings: Is for bitches who don’t have any Jim Beam
a. is stupid. Drink water.
b. proves the wings were too spicy
c. proves that you can handle the spiciness

15. The new Cowboys Stadium: C
a. Offensive reminder of Jerry Jones' ego
b. One of, if not, the best stadium in the NFL
c. I prefer Texas Stadium

16. Vote for location of next DCC Convention -- E
a. Las Vegas
b. Auburn
c. at the border
d. Test Thread
e. doesn't matter, as long as I get a koozie

17. Best type of avatar: D
a. Photo of person
b. A logo of something
c. Cowboys-related
d. Something goofy

18. How many Cowboys games have you attended? 3


19. Favorite Cowboys victory of All-Time: Last time they beat the Steelers and the next time they beat the Steelers. (Sister is a huge Steelers fan)

20. If you could change one Cowboys loss into a victory, which game would it be? This year’s loss to Detroit

21. What do you wear on Gameday? Regular clothes. My wife wears Dallas Cowboys nipple clamps

22. Where is Auburn? Who cares?

23. Favorite alter ego: I’M other peoples’ alter ego
a. Nugget
b. Phyllis
c. HITR
d. Takmina

24. How many of the letter 'o' in the word "R______yyyyyy!!!1!1" 22

25. Do you like Mexicans? If they’re small enough for the microwave, otherwise you have to grill them and I don’t have that kind of time.

26. How much are you going to donate to the DCC? My firstborn son, but not until it’s conclusively proven that he’s mine.

27. More important to the defense - pass rush or cornerbacks? Depends on the opposing QB.

28. If you were surrounded by trash and found a diamond, what would you name it? Tony Romo

29. Do you consider yourself a realist, pessimist, or optimist? Realist

30. Favorite DCC poster: Have to say myself since I don’t know anyone else yet. Once I get to know people better, it will probably still be myself.

31. Pitbulls are: B
a. uncontrollable and should be illegal
b. great pets if trained properly by owners
c. for people with tiny Ryobis

32. Best hamburger chain: Wendy’s until someone tops the Baconator
a. In-n-Out
b. Whataburger
c. Burger King/McDonalds/Carls Jr/Hardees
d. Sonic
e. Five Guys
f. None-I'm a vegetarian

33. Hottest redhead: E
a. Progressive commercial - Flo
b. Kindle Fire - live chat girl
c. Wendy's girl
d. Jason Garrett
e. None-they are Satan

34. Favorite Acronym: ROOP (Reception Only, Open Bar)
a. GTFO
b. BISP
c. CSB
d. TLDR

35. What Cowboys need to succeed: D, as long as the process includes the removal of Jerry Jones as owner/GM
a. gloryhole
b. secret sauce
c. Romo-friendly
d. it's a process
e. special teams cuz starters are set

36. Worst enemy of the DCC: C
a. King of Larestan
b. Mexicans
c. Tech lunch

37. Sexiest attribute of Kristi: Haven’t met Kristi yet.
a. eyewink
b. computer reflection on glasses
c. tall glass of drink
d. chubby
e. stringy hair

38. Required time between posts should be: D
a. 45 seconds
b. 30 seconds
c. 10 seconds
d. None

39. A DCCer reveals something embarrassing on Facebook, so you: D (Immediately perform a screen capture for blackmail purposes.
a. immediately post about it in the DCC
b. never reveal it in the DCC
c. only post about it if DCCer denies/lies about it

40. Favorite weekend attire: Ball gag
a. skinny jeans
b. jorts
c. wife beater
d. hipster

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Round 2
Date: December 15, 2013

1. Pam Oliver is: A
a. darker meat, so full of aroma and flavor
b. stinky
c. a poor tipper
d. nothing compared to Suzy Kolber


2. On your own 36-yard line, 00:04 left in the 1st half and you're down 3-0 on the road. It's 1st and 10. What do you do? D
a. Kneel on it
b. Kick a FG
c. Call a pass play
d. Run a draw
e. Throw a pass to the flat to your backup RB who asked for a Michael Vick autograph


3. Which is your faborite art piece in Cowboys Stadium? jave to go with "New Horizon".
* Go to (http://stadium.dallascowboys.com/art_gallery1.cfm) to see gallery


4. Which draft decision pissed you off the most C
a. Passing on Steven Jackson
b. Passing on Randy Moss
c. Trading for Joey Galloway or Roy Williams (WR)
d. Drafting TEs in three separate 2nd rounds
e. Drafting Bobby Carpenter
f. Rarely drafting a QB
g. Other


5. Pick all that apply (multiple selections allowed): C & D
a. I like the current blue away jerseys more than the white homes
b. Screw tradition. Wear the blue jerseys at home permanently
c. Blue jerseys are bad luck
d. Keep the white jerseys, just change the sea-green pants
e. No changes to the uniform. Best in the NFL.
f. I'd modernize and change the uniforms completely.


6. Who's the fattest chick you'd bone? Kelly Clarkson
a. Gabourey Sidibe
b. Rebel Wilson
c. Ricki Lake
d. Melissa McCarthy
e. Shirley Hemphill
f. Beth Ditto
g. Queen Latifah
h. Other


7. If you got a Dallas Cowboys tattoo, what would it be? D
a. I already have a Cowboys-related tattoo
b. the word 'Cowboys'
c. '5-time Super Bowl champions'
d. the Star
e. a picture of a player, coach
f. names or jersey numbers of a player(s)
g. the helmet


8. Select one sentence below. D
a. I say Carl's Jr because there salsa is the best and you're crazy if you disagree.
b. Your an idiot if you think they're salsa is the best.
c. Well, you're selection of favorite salsas shows you haven't tried their salsa.
d. Bottom line is I don't like their salsa and they're not even close to the best.
e. (b) and (c)


9. Favorite Mascot C
a. Crazy Ray
b. Rowdy
c. Cowboy Joe (1960s logo)


10. Who is Mr. Cowboy? C
a. Roger Staubach
b. Troy Aikman
c. Tom Landry
d. (a) and (c)
e. None of the above


11. What's the interesting factoid about the NFL-record 99.5 yard Tony Dorsett run?[/QUOTE] Dallas only had 10 men on the field.[/QUOTE]

 

[Cotton]

Phil, that exam sucked. A new guy can't even begin to know half of that stuff. But, given what he had to deal with I give a B-. He did try too hard, but he had crap to work with.

 

[Deuce]

Ball gag? Thorn in disguise?

 

[Rev]

That was great.

 

[boozeman]

Phil, that exam sucked. A new guy can't even begin to know half of that stuff. But, given what he had to deal with I give a B-. He did try too hard, but he had crap to work with.

Lighten up, Francis.

That was actually excellent.

 

[L.T. Fan]

Lighten up, Francis.

That was actually excellent.

Well the analysis did say the Dawg would become his ally after all.

 

[Deuce]

Well the analysis did say the Dawg would become his ally after all.

That's the only part that doesn't make sense. As soon as there's another pit bull debate they will be on opposite ends.

 

[Rev]

That's the only part that doesn't make sense. As soon as there's another pit bull debate they will be on opposite ends.

No. That is his stance as well.

 

[skidadl]

The answer to question 32 was a thing of beauty. Whataburger fags can suck on it.

 

[boozeman]

The answer to question 32 was a thing of beauty. Whataburger fags can suck on it.

 

[Cotton]

Lighten up, Francis.

That was actually excellent.

I was extremely inebriated when I posted that. I went back and read it again, and you're right, it was pretty damn good.

 

[boozeman]

I was extremely inebriated when I posted that. I went back and read it again, and you're right, it was pretty damn good.

Do you....have a problem with alcohol?

 

[Cotton]

Do you....have a problem with alcohol?

No, now that Lubbock is wet, it's fairly easy to get.

 

[NoDak]

No, now that Lubbock is wet, it's fairly easy to get.

Sounds like the fat cheerleader with no self esteem after a bottle or two of Boones Farm.

Or so I heard.

 

[Deuce]

No. That is his stance as well.

Oh, I thought he answered A.

Ya, looks like you just lost your BFF.

 

[Rev]

Oh, I thought he answered A.

Ya, looks like you just lost your BFF.

Thats ok. He was getting too needy lately.

 

[Texas Ace]

Phil, that exam sucked. A new guy can't even begin to know half of that stuff.

Well, that's kind of the point.

A big part of what makes the exam great.....that newcomers have to answer questions about things they have no idea about.

 

[data]

My favorite answer is #14

 

[Cotton]

Thats ok. He was getting too needy lately.

I can't believe you would say that. It is OVER!!!

 

[Cotton]

Can we give him his results?