2023 Random NFL Stuff Thread…

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Naked LSD Feces Man Plummets Into Bills Stadium Hole

On the same weekend when the Buffalo Bills won their NFL game at Highmark Stadium to avoid falling into a hole, a 29-year-old man was down the street, at the site of the new stadium .... falling into a hole.

While he was allegedly naked.

And while he was allegedly under the influence of cocaine, LSD and marijuana.
And while he was covered in human excrement.

The Erie County Sheriff's Office said that right around kickoff time on Sunday, security were asked to assist with a person in trouble. That person, according to law enforcement officials, chose to run away from the security personnel and into the area where the new stadium is being built.

Security pursued the man and apparently observed him climbing the 10-foot protective fence that surrounds the construction site ... and then running toward the excavated area.

He reportedly fell 15 feet into a hole ... gathered himself ... took off running again ... and fell into another 15-foot-deep excavation hole.
By this time, the sheriff's office, EMS and fire department were asked to respond, and when alerted to respond, and when authorities did arrive, they were told by the man that he was under the influence of a variety of drugs. At that point the man wasn't taken in to custody but rather was taken to a hospital while being charged with "criminal trespass,''

Oh, and by the way, the Bills beat the Las Vegas Raiders, 38-10, to move to 1-1 on the new season.
 
Well at least they called it true, it had to be the acid.
 
Foobio said:
Naked LSD Feces Man Plummets Into Bills Stadium Hole

On the same weekend when the Buffalo Bills won their NFL game at Highmark Stadium to avoid falling into a hole, a 29-year-old man was down the street, at the site of the new stadium .... falling into a hole.

While he was allegedly naked.

And while he was allegedly under the influence of cocaine, LSD and marijuana.
And while he was covered in human excrement.

The Erie County Sheriff's Office said that right around kickoff time on Sunday, security were asked to assist with a person in trouble. That person, according to law enforcement officials, chose to run away from the security personnel and into the area where the new stadium is being built.

Security pursued the man and apparently observed him climbing the 10-foot protective fence that surrounds the construction site ... and then running toward the excavated area.

He reportedly fell 15 feet into a hole ... gathered himself ... took off running again ... and fell into another 15-foot-deep excavation hole.
By this time, the sheriff's office, EMS and fire department were asked to respond, and when alerted to respond, and when authorities did arrive, they were told by the man that he was under the influence of a variety of drugs. At that point the man wasn't taken in to custody but rather was taken to a hospital while being charged with "criminal trespass,''

Oh, and by the way, the Bills beat the Las Vegas Raiders, 38-10, to move to 1-1 on the new season.
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amateur. Light it on fire and now it’s a Bills Mafia Sunday.
 
1bigfan13 said:
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To be fair I only count that as one juke. The second one he had a blocker there. It was more like he just followed his blocker as opposed to running into the defender.

But the guy is seriously good. Would love to have him in Dallas right now complimenting Pollard.
 
Cowboysrock55 said:
To be fair I only count that as one juke. The second one he had a blocker there. It was more like he just followed his blocker as opposed to running into the defender.

But the guy is seriously good. Would love to have him in Dallas right now complimenting Pollard.
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Hell, I would take half of a Bijan Robinson.
 
We don’t want to know where Brock Purdy keeps that horseshoe hidden
The San Fran QB's passes keep landing in teammates' hands. And the Niners keep winning. No one can figure out how it all continues to happen

Don’t tell us the Niners knew Brock Purdy was this good all along.


Don’t tell us the Niners knew Brock Purdy was this good all along.


The most annoying thing about Brock Purdy, and there’s more than a few, is the idea that the Niners planned all of this.
If they were that convinced of his impending greatness, they wouldn’t have waited until the last pick of the draft to take him. This wasn’t some okeydoke that they pulled on the rest of the league. This was a rabbit out of the hat. If it is indeed a rabbit.

Every other football fan who isn’t part of the Niner clan watches Purdy throw balls up for grabs that always seem to land in his teammates’ hands. Or how every blitz against is countered by a quick pass to someone that Kyle Shanahan has schemed impossibly open. And when all that doesn’t work, there always seems to be a well-placed flag that moves the chains and the Niners down the field.
Oh, I’m not alone:


The Niners and their followers will tell you that they’ll be the only team that can survive giving up so much for a QB that couldn’t play, Trey Lance, because they had the foresight of Purdy and the coaching of Shanahan. Giving up that many draft picks for an eventual bust should, and almost always has, cripple a team for years, if not a full decade.

But the luck the Niners found is mirrored by the luck Purdy finds on the field. Do I know for sure that he knows what he’s doing? Sure don’t. It feels like any throw that goes over five yards is screaming through the television to be picked off. And yet, it never is. Maybe that’s because George Kittle and Deebo Samuel and crew are just so good they get to every pass first, and then gain another seven yards because the first guy never brings them down. Ever .

What, five throws over 10 yards? And two of them go for touchdowns? He throws for 300 yards while rarely if ever throwing a pass farther than snot travels on a sneeze?

This isn’t planned. This isn’t design. There’s something else at work here, and the only hope anyone else has is that it goes bust at the most hilarious time possible. Which it kind of did last year.

Teams spend years in the wilderness trying to figure out how to get a quarterback and change not just their fortunes, but their perception. The Niners just land on this one, or rather have him land on them. They escaped football jail when the guard simply left their cell open and then fell down a manhole. They’ll tell you it was Escape From Alcatraz. It’s no wonder everyone’s bitching about it. It’s the only response to forces we can’t explain or understand.




deadspin.com

Deadspin | We don’t want to know where Brock Purdy keeps that horseshoe hidden

Deadspin | We don’t want to know where Brock Purdy keeps that horseshoe hidden
deadspin.com deadspin.com
 
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