2023 Random Cowboys Stuff Thread

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I've always assumed hockey is a lot like Nascar.
 
Genghis Khan said:
It's a wonder any other team gets things done in Jerry's fantasy world.

Thank God this structure has enabled us to be so successful these past 28 years. Thanks Jerry!
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For sure. Who needs to put Jimmy in the ROH when we have those 8 or so NFC EAST championships to fall back on since he left.
 
Texas Ace said:
Both baseball and basketball pay better on average.

The league average for an NBA player is over 9 million

The league average for an MLB player is over 4 million.

The league average for an NFL player is over 2 million.
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It's a pretty large false equivalence to compare the contracts we're talking about - guys like Parsons - to the average salary. As if what the punter, long snapper, or third TE makes has any relevance to how much Parsons should demand.

By your numbers the highest average goes to the sport with the fewest players on the roster, the lowest average salary has the biggest roster, etc. It's almost as if there's a correlation. The bottom half of the NFL rosters significantly brings down the average. From what I can see, the percentage of league revenue that goes to the players is roughly equivalent in all 3 sports.

I doubt anyone seriously has any issues with a punter or whatever getting everything he can. That's the kind of player that is dragging that average down. And it's indisputable that top end salary guys are taking money from the lower end salary guys.

As far as fully guaranteed contracts, I loathe them and I'm glad football doesn't have them. Competitively, teams have to have a way out of a shitty contract. I've seen them wreck my teams in other sports.
 


So for today and today only, we're talking in certainties as we dive into the crystal ball of a single simulation -- simulation No. 3,818 -- to unveil the NFL season before it takes place. In a single sim, almost anything can happen. Then again, the same is true in real life, as the idea of the Vikings winning 13 games or the Broncos falling flat on their faces to five wins in 2022 might have seemed laughable at this time last year.

In simulation No. 3,818, ESPN's FPI played out every game of the 2023 campaign, producing winners and losers, surprise collapses and an exciting race to the Super Bowl. We applied a little creative license to the details, but the results are all from the model. Here's the 2023 NFL season, before it happens (maybe), including scores from each playoff game:


Disaster in Dallas

Remember after last season when coach Mike McCarthy kicked then-offensive coordinator Kellen Moore out the door and took over the playcalling? It didn't work out too well in this simulation.

The Cowboys found themselves on the losing end of a New York double feature, falling to the Giants and Jets to open the season before pulling out a 16-10 win over the Cardinals in Week 3. Perhaps barely beating the Cardinals was the most obvious indicator of what was to come, as Dallas stumbled to then lose to the Patriots, 49ers and Chargers to begin the season 1-5.

Things only got worse. After a modest recovery to pull to 3-6 through Week 10, the Cowboys slid again and all long shot hopes of a late playoff run were dashed. Maybe the new additions didn't click? The Cowboys' 2020 season was derailed by a Dak Prescott injury, and it's not out of the question for things to go off the rails if another key injury happened. Whatever it was, Dallas underperformed, and after a 30-13 loss to the Bills in Week 15, it's very easily to see Cowboys team owner Jerry Jones firing McCarthy with defensive coordinator Dan Quinn taking over as the interim coach.

The good news for him and the Cowboys? They have the No. 2 overall pick in the 2024 draft -- though the Week 3 win over the Cardinals cost Dallas the top pick.
 
boozeman said:


So for today and today only, we're talking in certainties as we dive into the crystal ball of a single simulation -- simulation No. 3,818 -- to unveil the NFL season before it takes place. In a single sim, almost anything can happen. Then again, the same is true in real life, as the idea of the Vikings winning 13 games or the Broncos falling flat on their faces to five wins in 2022 might have seemed laughable at this time last year.

In simulation No. 3,818, ESPN's FPI played out every game of the 2023 campaign, producing winners and losers, surprise collapses and an exciting race to the Super Bowl. We applied a little creative license to the details, but the results are all from the model. Here's the 2023 NFL season, before it happens (maybe), including scores from each playoff game:


Disaster in Dallas

Remember after last season when coach Mike McCarthy kicked then-offensive coordinator Kellen Moore out the door and took over the playcalling? It didn't work out too well in this simulation.

The Cowboys found themselves on the losing end of a New York double feature, falling to the Giants and Jets to open the season before pulling out a 16-10 win over the Cardinals in Week 3. Perhaps barely beating the Cardinals was the most obvious indicator of what was to come, as Dallas stumbled to then lose to the Patriots, 49ers and Chargers to begin the season 1-5.

Things only got worse. After a modest recovery to pull to 3-6 through Week 10, the Cowboys slid again and all long shot hopes of a late playoff run were dashed. Maybe the new additions didn't click? The Cowboys' 2020 season was derailed by a Dak Prescott injury, and it's not out of the question for things to go off the rails if another key injury happened. Whatever it was, Dallas underperformed, and after a 30-13 loss to the Bills in Week 15, it's very easily to see Cowboys team owner Jerry Jones firing McCarthy with defensive coordinator Dan Quinn taking over as the interim coach.

The good news for him and the Cowboys? They have the No. 2 overall pick in the 2024 draft -- though the Week 3 win over the Cardinals cost Dallas the top pick.
Click to expand...

:jerk
 
boozeman said:


So for today and today only, we're talking in certainties as we dive into the crystal ball of a single simulation -- simulation No. 3,818 -- to unveil the NFL season before it takes place. In a single sim, almost anything can happen. Then again, the same is true in real life, as the idea of the Vikings winning 13 games or the Broncos falling flat on their faces to five wins in 2022 might have seemed laughable at this time last year.

In simulation No. 3,818, ESPN's FPI played out every game of the 2023 campaign, producing winners and losers, surprise collapses and an exciting race to the Super Bowl. We applied a little creative license to the details, but the results are all from the model. Here's the 2023 NFL season, before it happens (maybe), including scores from each playoff game:


Disaster in Dallas

Remember after last season when coach Mike McCarthy kicked then-offensive coordinator Kellen Moore out the door and took over the playcalling? It didn't work out too well in this simulation.

The Cowboys found themselves on the losing end of a New York double feature, falling to the Giants and Jets to open the season before pulling out a 16-10 win over the Cardinals in Week 3. Perhaps barely beating the Cardinals was the most obvious indicator of what was to come, as Dallas stumbled to then lose to the Patriots, 49ers and Chargers to begin the season 1-5.

Things only got worse. After a modest recovery to pull to 3-6 through Week 10, the Cowboys slid again and all long shot hopes of a late playoff run were dashed. Maybe the new additions didn't click? The Cowboys' 2020 season was derailed by a Dak Prescott injury, and it's not out of the question for things to go off the rails if another key injury happened. Whatever it was, Dallas underperformed, and after a 30-13 loss to the Bills in Week 15, it's very easily to see Cowboys team owner Jerry Jones firing McCarthy with defensive coordinator Dan Quinn taking over as the interim coach.

The good news for him and the Cowboys? They have the No. 2 overall pick in the 2024 draft -- though the Week 3 win over the Cardinals cost Dallas the top pick.
Click to expand...

View attachment QJgfrEB.mp4
 
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