Rehab

I have gained 25 pounds in 6 weeks. I have been eating like a depressed fat girl on prom night.


Keep exercising, homie. It'll come off.
 
Brother, I got 20 more to gain before I worry about that. For now, I am just getting back to a healthy weight.


Ah, ok. Whey protein helped me put on mass. I finally quit taking it (for that, I still use it as meal replacement) because, as I get older, my gains become more marginal.
 
You got this. If you can put up with us assholes all this time, you can beat this. Still praying for you and I think I'm stil carrying your child.
“Us”? What is this “Us”?
 
So, now that I been out of detox for a while I can tell you some of the horror stories my wife has told me. She stayed up there with me the entire time. I don't remember any of the things she said happened. According to her, this is how it went down.

Day 2: I was fine during the day and told a nurse to GTFO that evening.

Day 3: Apparently, this was one of the worst days. She told me I slept most of the day. At one point apparently I pointed to the corner of the room and asked how long those 3 women had been sleeping on the cots in the corner. The part I do remember about that night was telling the phlebotomist to find some god damn manners or change jobs. He barged into the room at 5 fucking oclock in the morning, flipped on all of the lights yelling HOW ARE THE COTTONS THIS MORNING?? Closest I came to getting kicked out I think.

Day 4: She said I slept for 16 hours straight. I don't remember sleeping at all.

Day 5: I slept most of the day and apparently told the charge nurse that if I didn't get to smoke I was burning the hospital down. I don't remember any of this.

She said overall I was nice to the staff, but apparently the drugs they gave me did a number on me. I rarely ever take meds, so they probably had a rougher effect on me than the average person.

Day 6: I was released and came home.

Unless something goes horrible wrong I will have a job waiting for me working back at Tech. Had an ex-boss reach out to see when I might be ready to make that leap. I will be making more than I did when I was there before in a much less stressful position. I am so ready to get the fuck out of this house. Oh, and after a year I can work 3 days of the week from home if I want.

Sunday is 2 months, and it just so happens to fall on my parents 57 year wedding anniversary. I'm feeling great and I can see slow progress towards getting back to normal. If only I could sleep better.
 
Damn, that was a lot of words. I think I subconsciously let Smitty take the wheel.
 
Tomorrow marks 3 months sober. As supportive as everyone has been both in real life and on this board I felt I should write a little bit about it. I'm sharing with because I got just as much support on this board as anywhere. Thank you all. It hasn't been easy and I know it's not over yet, but the wagon is on the right road. Here is what I wrote. (I know it seems a bit dramatic, but all of this has felt a bit dramatic to me.)

October 21st, 2025 I entered alcohol detox. I had been mentally ignoring a demon that had set out to kill me. This demon was very conniving and tricky. It hid itself behind anxiety and stress. In my mind I was justified in drinking because of those two things and that demon kept patting me on the back and reassuring me that the next beer would be the answer. Little did l realize that the next beer only put me closer to the permanent solution to those issues. It was dead set on ending those things and my life permanently.

Here is where my family came in and started absolutely swinging on that demon. He had no clue the wrath he had birthed. They beat on him until his power over me lessened. That brief lapse in his power is all I needed. I was about to escape its grasp once and for all. My family saved my life as the demon would surely have killed me if it weren’t for the cavalry that is their love. I owe them my life.

I can see clearly now what that demon’s intention was. Something my family saw long before I did. That demon has been cast back into whatever hell it came from and will never emerge in my life again.

Tomorrow I celebrate 3 months of sobriety. I love you all but I love my family the most. Thank you doesn’t even begin to cover it.
 
Tomorrow marks 3 months sober. As supportive as everyone has been both in real life and on this board I felt I should write a little bit about it. I'm sharing with because I got just as much support on this board as anywhere. Thank you all. It hasn't been easy and I know it's not over yet, but the wagon is on the right road. Here is what I wrote. (I know it seems a bit dramatic, but all of this has felt a bit dramatic to me.)

October 21st, 2025 I entered alcohol detox. I had been mentally ignoring a demon that had set out to kill me. This demon was very conniving and tricky. It hid itself behind anxiety and stress. In my mind I was justified in drinking because of those two things and that demon kept patting me on the back and reassuring me that the next beer would be the answer. Little did l realize that the next beer only put me closer to the permanent solution to those issues. It was dead set on ending those things and my life permanently.

Here is where my family came in and started absolutely swinging on that demon. He had no clue the wrath he had birthed. They beat on him until his power over me lessened. That brief lapse in his power is all I needed. I was about to escape its grasp once and for all. My family saved my life as the demon would surely have killed me if it weren’t for the cavalry that is their love. I owe them my life.

I can see clearly now what that demon’s intention was. Something my family saw long before I did. That demon has been cast back into whatever hell it came from and will never emerge in my life again.

Tomorrow I celebrate 3 months of sobriety. I love you all but I love my family the most. Thank you doesn’t even begin to cover it.



Congratulations, brother.
 
Tomorrow marks 3 months sober. As supportive as everyone has been both in real life and on this board I felt I should write a little bit about it. I'm sharing with because I got just as much support on this board as anywhere. Thank you all. It hasn't been easy and I know it's not over yet, but the wagon is on the right road. Here is what I wrote. (I know it seems a bit dramatic, but all of this has felt a bit dramatic to me.)

October 21st, 2025 I entered alcohol detox. I had been mentally ignoring a demon that had set out to kill me. This demon was very conniving and tricky. It hid itself behind anxiety and stress. In my mind I was justified in drinking because of those two things and that demon kept patting me on the back and reassuring me that the next beer would be the answer. Little did l realize that the next beer only put me closer to the permanent solution to those issues. It was dead set on ending those things and my life permanently.

Here is where my family came in and started absolutely swinging on that demon. He had no clue the wrath he had birthed. They beat on him until his power over me lessened. That brief lapse in his power is all I needed. I was about to escape its grasp once and for all. My family saved my life as the demon would surely have killed me if it weren’t for the cavalry that is their love. I owe them my life.

I can see clearly now what that demon’s intention was. Something my family saw long before I did. That demon has been cast back into whatever hell it came from and will never emerge in my life again.

Tomorrow I celebrate 3 months of sobriety. I love you all but I love my family the most. Thank you doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Fuck yeah Cotton !!! You accomplished a great feat.. not many Alcoholics will not only admit they have a problem .. let alone go through the steps to recover…you are a fantastic success story and should be congratulated… well done !
 
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