Ric Flair faces arrest in alimony dispute

[Smitty]

In what situations? Why should you have to pay someone a check for the rest of their lives or yours because you used to be married?

In PA, Alimony is generally not permanent. Maybe not ever. I don't do enough family law.

 

[Smitty]

I'd think a father who had the means to give his child a better life would do it without hesitation. I know I would. Also, some dads that make a great living don't have the time to raise their child because of their work. Certainly if the dad wants the kid and he or she is going to actually be raised by the dad then that is one thing, but often times in that case they are raised by a nanny or daycare.

Well, I just know a friend of mine is going through a divorce, his wife left him after cheating on him with another guy, she took the kids and moved in with her parents (who have plenty of money). Then the court ordered that he fork over 25% of his paycheck to her for child support.

Ridiculous.

If they are gonna get that, it should go into a college fund. They don't need that money.

 

[Carp]

Certainly the woman was at fault in that case, but despite the kids grandparents being rich it does not mean your friend should not pay some kimd of child support.

 

[Newt]

I think courts are too quick to award custody of the kids to the mother, I've seen it several time since I got married where the woman was clearly at fault for the divorce yet there is almost no consideration of the father getting custody. One example, a friend of mine found out his wife was cheating on him with someone she worked with, they spent about 6 months in counseling but ended up getting a divorce, both parents worked and contributed to the family income probably 60/40 with 60% being from the man. She got custody and child support, moved the kid 2 and a half hours away and he got the hard end of a long shaft. It just doesn't seem right to me.

 

[L.T. Fan]

Certainly the woman was at fault in that case, but despite the kids grandparents being rich it does not mean your friend should not pay some kimd of child support.

Yeppers. If you are a parent you should fulfill your responsibilities to the children you helped bring into this world. The fact that you cannot continue to cohabitate with the other parent does not elliviate one from their parental responsibilities. The question of fairness is always at issue but that needs to continue to be left with courts when reasonable solutions cannot be agreed on by the parents.

 

[Cowboysrock55]

I think courts are too quick to award custody of the kids to the mother, I've seen it several time since I got married where the woman was clearly at fault for the divorce yet there is almost no consideration of the father getting custody. One example, a friend of mine found out his wife was cheating on him with someone she worked with, they spent about 6 months in counseling but ended up getting a divorce, both parents worked and contributed to the family income probably 60/40 with 60% being from the man. She got custody and child support, moved the kid 2 and a half hours away and he got the hard end of a long shaft. It just doesn't seem right to me.

The problem is being at fault in the divorce really isn't any consideration when it comes to the custody arrangement. The custody arrangement is supposed to be what is in the best interest of the child. Most judges are hesitant to rock the boat (At least where I work) meaning if the kids are living in the marital home and daddy moves out for the separation, the kids are likely to remain in the marital home with mommy.

 

[Texas Ace]

I think courts are too quick to award custody of the kids to the mother, I've seen it several time since I got married where the woman was clearly at fault for the divorce yet there is almost no consideration of the father getting custody. One example, a friend of mine found out his wife was cheating on him with someone she worked with, they spent about 6 months in counseling but ended up getting a divorce, both parents worked and contributed to the family income probably 60/40 with 60% being from the man. She got custody and child support, moved the kid 2 and a half hours away and he got the hard end of a long shaft. It just doesn't seem right to me.

Exactly.

So not only does your buddy get screwed when he did nothing wrong, the system tacks on what I consider to be another "punishment" by taking his money from him.

This system is one of the most broken we have in this country and yet no one has made a single effort to try and fix it.

 

[Carp]

Honestly though...I'd say I spend 25% of my paychecks on my kids pretty easily, so that number does not seem like it is out of whack.

 

[Angrymesscan]

The problem is being at fault in the divorce really isn't any consideration when it comes to the custody arrangement. The custody arrangement is supposed to be what is in the best interest of the child. Most judges are hesitant to rock the boat (At least where I work) meaning if the kids are living in the marital home and daddy moves out for the separation, the kids are likely to remain in the marital home with mommy.

You can be a lousy spouse, but a great parent and a great spouse but a lousy parent. Most of the time the mother is the "lead" caregiver so it is to be expected that they continue in that role, sometimes the moms quit their jobs to take care of the children, especially in high end incomes, and many parents are not as responsible as the posters on this board so I definitly get why there is a need for "alimony" and child support. Does the system get abused sometimes... Sure, but which system doesn't?

You want to avoid this... get a prenup.

 

[Texas Ace]

Honestly though...I'd say I spend 25% of my paychecks on my kids pretty easily, so that number does not seem like it is out of whack.

As did I when my ex had custody of my son. But it's one thing when you do it yourself and another when it becomes a mandatory monthly thing with no guidelines or restrictions.

I have custody of my son now and have for 7 years. That's why I think the system is bullshit because I got screwed every which way possible by it. Even though I am the custodial parent now, I do not receive child support (that's a long story) nor do I need it.

Somehow, someway, I've managed to take care of my son without needing anyone else's income to assist me.

Imagine that.

 

[Carp]

You were dumb to not ask for child support. Your child and you are entitled to that. I know you are beating your chest now and being all prideful, but you are entitled to that.

 

[Texas Ace]

You were dumb to not ask for child support. Your child and you are entitled to that. I know you are beating your chest now and being all prideful, but you are entitled to that.

It wasn't quite like that.

To make a long story short, my son was in a really bad environment with his mom who was very immature at the time. I was paying child support even though he was staying with me 4 or 5 days out of the week. On top of that, his mom was never around for school functions or parent/teacher conferences. He never had clothes or clean shoes. I'd get calls asking to buy him this and that even though she was getting 600 a month in child support......all while not making one single attempt to ever get a job.

So I write letters and make phone calls to attorney general's office and anyone else who I think will listen, and none of them so much as batted an eye to this situation. Luckily for me, she decides to start doing drugs and that's when I got her. So while we're getting ready to go to court, she decides that she doesn't want all her dirt uncovered so decides to cut a deal. I tell her I want nothing less than custody which she didn't want to give up, but I tell her I'll agree to not ask for child support.

That ended up being the detail that sealed the deal for her and she agreed to hand over custody under those conditions. So while I would have loved to have screwed her back and gotten money from her, especially now since she finally gotten her life together, having my son in a positive environment and in good living conditions is what's most important to me. I got what I really wanted and that's custody of my child, and that's good enough for me.

The point is, I've had no problems whatsoever taking care of my son for the last 7 years and I've done so with no one else's assistance. That is why I do not buy that someone "needs" child support.

 

[Carp]

You've had no problems, but that does not mean you are not entitled to it. That could be tucked away for a college fund or whatnot.

 

[Texas Ace]

You've had no problems, but that does not mean you are not entitled to it. That could be tucked away for a college fund or whatnot.

Yea, that's a good point. That money could've have been good for that, but I guess it's too late now.

 

[L.T. Fan]

You were dumb to not ask for child support. Your child and you are entitled to that. I know you are beating your chest now and being all prideful, but you are entitled to that.

Technically speaking, spouses are not entitled to receive or utilize the child support on anything other than the benefit of the child. II understand that it isn't' done this way but it is supposed to be.

 

[Clay_Allison]

I think a lot of fathers screw themselves by never fighting for custody and often separating and not being around for months leading up to the divorce. Then they let the super-generous courts set the support amount instead of having their lawyer aggressively negotiate it, with a fierce custody battle as the leverage.

 

[Smitty]

Certainly the woman was at fault in that case, but despite the kids grandparents being rich it does not mean your friend should not pay some kimd of child support.

Of course he should pay some kind of child support. I think it should be limited to a more reasonable amount. Like I said, it's generally a blanket percentage. That is not right.

 

[Smitty]

You can be a lousy spouse, but a great parent and a great spouse but a lousy parent. Most of the time the mother is the "lead" caregiver so it is to be expected that they continue in that role, sometimes the moms quit their jobs to take care of the children, especially in high end incomes, and many parents are not as responsible as the posters on this board so I definitly get why there is a need for "alimony" and child support. Does the system get abused sometimes... Sure, but which system doesn't?

You want to avoid this... get a prenup.

You can't avoid child support with a prenup.

 

[Carp]

Technically speaking, spouses are not entitled to receive or utilize the child support on anything other than the benefit of the child. II understand that it isn't' done this way but it is supposed to be.

I agree, but doesn't it make sense that if you get child support that you would have more funds available that you would otherwise have to spend on care for your child.

 

[Angrymesscan]

Nothing says good parenting like using your children as leverage...