Anxiety

[Cotton]

you could also just be stressed out which would be much better

Maybe. I'm used to stress, but maybe. It has been going on for a while.

 

[Cotton]

You see bro, opening up is a good thing. There’s some mofos who give a shit

I do see. Sorry, I'm crying right now. I do fucking see.

 

[p1_]

I do see. Sorry, I'm crying right now. I do fucking see.

Let it flow man . It cleanses the soul.

 

[Cotton]

The PMs and the responses in this thread give me hope. Thank you.

 

[yimyammer]

So, this is not an easy thing for me to tell people, and I'm probably going to ramble. My wife knows about this and that's about it. I have suffered from some fairly severe anxiety and depression over the last little while (about 10 years) and I couldn't figure out what was going on. I felt I couldn't catch my breath at times it got so bad. Not sure why I'm sharing this with you guys outside of the fact that we have been basically family for years. I have struggled with this. I have not gone to counseling but I probably should. This shit can feel devastating.

I feel like sharing this with at least someone will help me get through this. This is really hard. My heartrate is above normal most of the time. I'm quite sure my blood pressure is too high most of the time. It hurts in a way that is very hard to describe. You can call it a sinking feeling. Like the world is positioned against me. I write this because I feel it might be mentally beneficial to just tell someone. This shit sucks. I am normally very secretive about my feelings and feel like even telling you guys breaks the man card promise, but someone needs to hear this. Mental issues are a serious thing, and I almost feel like I am on the brink of losing my mind sometimes.

After reading what I typed again it sounds stupid. I guess my reasoning is not only to mentally help me rehabilitate but to also tell other people that may be dealing with shit like this that it is okay to talk about it. You aren't weak. There is just something wrong. I am trying to find what is currently wrong with me. I will find it. I am a very confident and decisive person, so this really throws me for a loop. Pray for me, or do whatever you do when someone you know is in distress.

BTW, I am not suicidal.

I've struggled with depression, seen a psychologist and took pills he prescribed and got no where so I stopped all of it and started working out every day first thing in the am and losing weight and it was like magic for me and worked like a charm. I think my depression was relatively mild so this may not work for everyone.

Focusing on things I love and care about vs things that make me angry and rage has helped as well

whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Hope you find an avenue of dealing with it that works for you amigo, godspeed!

 

[yimyammer]

Thank you. I hate hate hate feeling like this. I'm such a fucking pussy.

no you're not amigo, I bet almost everyone on the planet has had to deal with depression throughout their lives, your not alone or a pussy

its a shame stigma is associated with this to where you feel this way, you'd never say this if you had the flu or some other issue outside of your control

 

[Plan9Misfit]

So, this is not an easy thing for me to tell people, and I'm probably going to ramble. My wife knows about this and that's about it. I have suffered from some fairly severe anxiety and depression over the last little while (about 10 years) and I couldn't figure out what was going on. I felt I couldn't catch my breath at times it got so bad. Not sure why I'm sharing this with you guys outside of the fact that we have been basically family for years. I have struggled with this. I have not gone to counseling but I probably should. This shit can feel devastating.

I feel like sharing this with at least someone will help me get through this. This is really hard. My heartrate is above normal most of the time. I'm quite sure my blood pressure is too high most of the time. It hurts in a way that is very hard to describe. You can call it a sinking feeling. Like the world is positioned against me. I write this because I feel it might be mentally beneficial to just tell someone. This shit sucks. I am normally very secretive about my feelings and feel like even telling you guys breaks the man card promise, but someone needs to hear this. Mental issues are a serious thing, and I almost feel like I am on the brink of losing my mind sometimes.

After reading what I typed again it sounds stupid. I guess my reasoning is not only to mentally help me rehabilitate but to also tell other people that may be dealing with shit like this that it is okay to talk about it. You aren't weak. There is just something wrong. I am trying to find what is currently wrong with me. I will find it. I am a very confident and decisive person, so this really throws me for a loop. Pray for me, or do whatever you do when someone you know is in distress.

BTW, I am not suicidal.

My sister has suffered from depression for many years. It’s not something to be embarrassed or ashamed of. Seek treatment. Trust me. It won’t make the depression go away, but it’ll really help.

 

[skidadl]

Well, you know I'm here for ya, brotha. I've been through some stuff myself. I know what intense anxiety and depression is. At times it can feel like something heavy is on you or that you're being held under water. Anxiety can be a real bitch as well. All of this is extraordinarily common for Americans. I have had about 4-5 major depressive episodes in my life that were near debilitating and lasted up to a year.

Go see a professional, my friend. Find someone that you can talk to that you learn to trust. One thing that I do is practice grounding. A technique that brings you in the here and now. There are a few ways to do it but one way is to sit in the middle of the rooms and slowly let you eyes see the color and shape of every single object. Do this for about 10 minutes each time. Or slowly follow the lines of the room from left to right. Follow the corners of the walls, around the door casing and so forth. It sounds stupid but the point is to slow you brain down and get yourself into the present. Make a gratitude list every day. List the top 10 things you're grateful for and meditate on those things. Say them out loud to yourself. I also like to pray. For me, giving my anxiety and the results of the future into God's hands takes the burden off of me.

Not trying to be preachy but alcohol actually increases anxiety and depression if you try to use it to beat those things back with drink. Over time you will rest less, be more depressed and anxiety will increase.

Either way, none of that impacts my respect for you. You're one of the best dudes ever and I think you're a champ. At one of the lowest points of my life, while my wife was fighting cancer, my anxiety and depression was in full swing. You were there for me. You and you wife gave my wife flowers. That gave her a moment of joy and now she has flowers and plants all over the damn house. You're an asshole for that because now she has a plant budget.

 

[Cotton]

Well, you know I'm here for ya, brotha. I've been through some stuff myself. I know what intense anxiety and depression is. At times it can feel like something heavy is on you or that you're being held under water. Anxiety can be a real bitch as well. All of this is extraordinarily common for Americans. I have had about 4-5 major depressive episodes in my life that were near debilitating and lasted up to a year.

Go see a professional, my friend. Find someone that you can talk to that you learn to trust. One thing that I do is practice grounding. A technique that brings you in the here and now. There are a few ways to do it but one way is to sit in the middle of the rooms and slowly let you eyes see the color and shape of every single object. Do this for about 10 minutes each time. Or slowly follow the lines of the room from left to right. Follow the corners of the walls, around the door casing and so forth. It sounds stupid but the point is to slow you brain down and get yourself into the present. Make a gratitude list every day. List the top 10 things you're grateful for and meditate on those things. Say them out loud to yourself. I also like to pray. For me, giving my anxiety and the results of the future into God's hands takes the burden off of me.

Not trying to be preachy but alcohol actually increases anxiety and depression if you try to use it to beat those things back with drink. Over time you will rest less, be more depressed and anxiety will increase.

Either way, none of that impacts my respect for you. You're one of the best dudes ever and I think you're a champ. At one of the lowest points of my life, while my wife was fighting cancer, my anxiety and depression was in full swing. You were there for me. You and you wife gave my wife flowers. That gave her a moment of joy and now she has flowers and plants all over the damn house. You're an asshole for that because now she has a plant budget.

Meh, I only did what friends are supposed to do, and that's be there when your friend needs you. I appreciate your words, brother. I'm feeling a little better today.

 

[Cotton]

I want to thank everyone that reached out or replied in this thread. I never would have thought a bunch of assholes could be sensitive to something like this. We are a great group here. Thank you all.

 

[mcnuttz]

Men have feelings, too.

And this is what the Test Thread is supposed to be for.

Ever since someone started the Offseason thread, I've been a little down in the dumps as well.

Bring back the Test Thread, it's our therapy.

 

[Cotton]

I never thought I would tell anyone but my wife, because it does feel like admitting weakness. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but unless you have been there it's really hard to explain. This certainly wasn't something easy to admit. I have decided to get help. I don't know to what degree, but I do think I need something.

 

[Plan9Misfit]

I want to thank everyone that reached out or replied in this thread. I never would have thought a bunch of assholes could be sensitive to something like this. We are a great group here. Thank you all.

Many of us are assholes because we’ve had to deal with insensitive cocksuckers who can’t appreciate the value and health of another person and it’s made us very bitter and angry. Depression is an illness, and it’s just as fucking real as cancer. Anyone who tries to “argue” otherwise can go eat a bag of dicks and choke on the last one. Personally, I wouldn’t wish depression on my worst enemy. It was fucking hell just watching my sister battle it, and it tore me up inside. I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like on her end, or what it’s like on yours.

And make no mistake; you’re 100 times more of a man for sharing this with us than any man who would dare criticize you for it. We’re all standing with you....even with your being a Tech fan.

 

[Cotton]

And make no mistake; you’re 100 times more of a man for sharing this with us than any man who would dare criticize you for it. We’re all standing with you....even with your being a Tech fan.

Thanks, man. I think support is going to be important for me through this. Not like I'm dying or anything, so it's not that serious, but sometimes I feel like dying might be easier.

 

[Cotton]

And, before anyone freaks out, I am not suicidal. It was just a joke in poor taste.

 

[ravidubey]

I have an immediate family member that deals with depression daily.

I've powerlessly watched them intensely grabbing at their own head in frustration with a deep understanding that they are dealing with an enemy they can't touch. I've seen them not want to move or face the world.

But being there to offer support and understanding is a huge part of helping. Just knowing they won't have to keep it a secret around loved ones is itself a massive weight removed. So super glad you decided to share.

You aren't weak, quite the opposite it takes strength to be vulnerable and open. Weakness would have been keeping it all hidden when the solution 95% lies in getting help and support.

I'm really glad you are going to seek help as that decision alone in my experience has made a world of difference to my family member.

And you are extended family, dude.

Here's to you, man.

 

[Cotton]

I love you guys. A lot. There is a reason I spend so much fucking time making sure this board remains active and as much fun as possible. Easily the best message board on the net.

 

[skidadl]

Now you know people care about you, asswipe.

 

[mcnuttz]

And it's "#1 on the net!"

You sound like an idiot when you say it wrong!!!

 

[Sheik]

Well, just because it could help you, I’ll share what I went through and how I got over it. If you have any questions you can always send me a private message, but I’ll share this here in case someone else could use it.

5-6 years ago I was a Roofing contractor. I spent 95% of my time driving to either bid on jobs, check on jobs, or grab some materials.

I remember there was a point where I started feeling this unbelievably heavy sadness that would come on out of nowhere. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, I had a healthy family, we had plenty of money, we did things like vacations and spent time together. I just didn’t have anything to really be “sad” about.

Over a short period of time, it progressed to the point where when driving, I would just have 10-15 minutes spells of sobbing crying, I remember always trying to grab onto what what causing it while in that state of despair.

I dealt with that on my own for about 2 years, I was never suicidal, but I was hard on myself to the point where I tried to push my wife away. I wanted her to leave me because I felt that I was weak and not good enough to have the good things we’d built.

It got pretty bad on a particular day when my brother happened to be with me on a job. We were talking to some home owners about some color samples at their kitchen table when it hit me, I had to excuse myself and go out to my truck.

When I didn’t come back after about 10 minutes, my brother came out to see what was up. That was the first step in me finally opening up to someone and eventually getting some help.

I don’t like to tell anyone what to do with their problems or their path to getting better, but I’ve always been against any kind of mind altering medication when it comes to depression or attention disorders. If I was going to get help and see someone for my issue, it was going to be therapy and NO drugs whatsoever.

Eventually my wife and parents became aware of what was going on, thanks to my brother. So the search was on by them to find help for me.

Depression is a weird thing, people become depressed for a multitude of reasons, there are tons of treatments out there, you just have to find what works for you, I guess.

I was lucky, while I didn’t have much faith in the therapy that I decided on, it actually worked for me.

My family found this new aged therapy thing that sounds completely stupid when I explain it, but here it goes.

Twice a week for 6 months, and 1 hour per visit. I’d enter a dark room and answer some basic questions, same questions every week. Really just to gauge what my brain health had been in between visits. Nothing intrusive.

Then I would be sat in a recliner in front of a computer. 2 electrical sensors would be “glued” to my scalp on either side of my head for reading brain activity. I had to wear head phones. I would have a remote with a button in both hands. I would watch the computer for patterns and listen for sounds through the headphones. This was described by the doctor as physical therapy for the brain. The brain can learn bad habits, but it can also be trained to work properly again.

Where I did this therapy, it was called “Brain Training.”, I’ve since looked it up and have had a hard time finding much information about it, but there is some.

It worked for me, and it worked really well. About 4 months in to my 6 months of appointments, I had been “breakdown” free. 3 years later, I’m still doing very well.

You do what is best for you, but coming from me, a guy that thought therapy was a bunch of shit, go talk to someone. If the first treatment isn’t right for you, talk to someone else.

Life is way too short to spend it in despair or depression. Even if it takes a year to get better, you won’t be wasting that year thinking about what the fuck is wrong or how/when it’s going to stop.

Man up and ask someone for help.