Test...

Oh snap, I forgot...gotta take that $20 to the school this morning.
Bust a U-ie like we do-ie when we forget to do something important,
Hit the nearest ATM and I'm like, "what?"
These bastards done got them a new machine, hell yeah!
That old machine pissed me off everytime I used it,
They ain't had a fucking upgrade since they used black and green screens,
But now they got this fine ATM that'll talk to you all proper like with a British accent,
It's gonna be a good day!
But the sonofabitch isn't powered up,
Spin out of the fucking parking lot and find another ATM.
 
Does anyone have the pea salad recipe saved?
 
I work with a lady who doesn't eat pork.

She's really nice, but I feel really bad sometimes when I bring food to work to share because in the past I've brought biscuits and gravy, bbq, and bacon. She hasn't been able to eat any of it.

So we had a cookout back in the fall and me and another guy grilled burgers.

She had made her plate and was about to sit down and said, "I finally get to try your cooking. All this time I thought you were making everything with pork just so I wouldn't eat!"

I laughed like she was a crazy lady and mentioned that we used ground pork in the burgers.
 
I say add some stuff about how it's not your fault that you struggle with such things. Go for a wider audience.

No dawg, I'm owning my shit. Like yeah, all the good pumps were out right?

But I'ma peel out that mug and ride out finding some pumps that will offer some high octane shit, nawdimsayin.
 
Trying to do the right thing this year and plan our Valentine's Day out a bit, at least that's my intention.

I'll probably forget about it and start watching crazy interweb videos and buy her a card at CVS when I get off of work on the 14th.
 
Btw, it's not my fault you didn't like my raps. You must have some sort of problem with a funky fresh white guy spitting mad lyrics.

Might be time you looked in the mirror and said, "I'm not alright with that guy".
 
Seems like a really shitty day to test.

Iamtdg is a lying sack of goat pills.
 
Find the gravy.

Also, it's called jam.

GTFO

Gravy is the correct answer. I was wondering if some gaywad would actually choose any of the JELLY.
 
Trying to do the right thing this year and plan our Valentine's Day out a bit, at least that's my intention.

I'll probably forget about it and start watching crazy interweb videos and buy her a card at CVS when I get off of work on the 14th.


I bought a deal where you go and learn to make sushi and then eat it. I'm gonna teach her how to do it all pottery style ala Ghost.

/groupon pimp
 
Trying to do the right thing this year and plan our Valentine's Day out a bit, at least that's my intention.

I'll probably forget about it and start watching crazy interweb videos and buy her a card at CVS when I get off of work on the 14th.

My wife got pissed last year because I didn't have something delivered to her work. Which really baffled me because we have a long-standing agreement that we don't spend money on shit that's just going to die or make us fat. So, we normally go to a movie and out to eat or some shit for V-Day, but last year every girl in the office got something delivered to the office, so I guess it embarrassed her that she was the only one without something. She in turn took that anger out on me in force. /csb
 
I bought a deal where you go and learn to make sushi and then eat it. I'm gonna teach her how to do it all pottery style ala Ghost.

/groupon pimp

I hope she doesn't have a nasty intestinal reaction due to your minor league sushi making skills.

Are you going to catch your own fish?
 
My wife got pissed last year because I didn't have something delivered to her work. Which really baffled me because we have a long-standing agreement that we don't spend money on shit that's just going to die or make us fat. So, we normally go to a movie and out to eat or some shit for V-Day, but last year every girl in the office got something delivered to the office, so I guess it embarrassed her that she was the only one without something. She in turn took that anger out on me in force. /csb


Woman peer pressure is the worst. Next time that happens come home from work and kick over a chair. Tell her the guys at work were talking about how their wives swallowed on V day for them and that you were really embarrassed that you had no stories to tell.
 
My wife got pissed last year because I didn't have something delivered to her work. Which really baffled me because we have a long-standing agreement that we don't spend money on shit that's just going to die or make us fat. So, we normally go to a movie and out to eat or some shit for V-Day, but last year every girl in the office got something delivered to the office, so I guess it embarrassed her that she was the only one without something. She in turn took that anger out on me in force. /csb

Sounds like someone's gonna go painfully overboard this year.
 
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