Life is really weird.
About the only thing that has helped me come to grips with the subject of death, is the realization that everyone before us went through it, we’ll all go through it, and everyone after us will. We aren’t alone in the fact that one day we’ll all die. The most reassuring thing about it for me is I’m not alone in that fact.
I hope you find that each day gets a tad bit easier for you to focus on the good times ya’ll had together.
If there was something I could give you to take your hurt away, I would. You have a great group of guys here for support. That’s pretty evident from reading this thread.
Lean on them when you need to.