Slane Girl Is A Hit

[Rev]

Sic em Bears

 

[Cotton]

Baconator. Pshaw.

 

[Jiggyfly]

While immaturity and selfishness absolutely play a part in the inflated divorce rate, I seriously doubt that kids in earlier eras (who got married much younger) were wholly self sacrificing.

In honesty the inclusion of women in the workforce has probably been the largest cause of divorce. It's a lot easier to walk away from a marriage if you aren't dependent on men to keep you (and your kids) alive. People stay in situations they hate do to necessity, I think, more often than out of pure selflessness.

Another large factor, I believe, is the tendency for Americans to isolate themselves in nuclear families. Countries with lower divorce rates tend to have much broader and interactive extended families. I would bet the stress of raising kids with no other support network has ended more than a few marriages. (I think we've all heard a both sides of the classic bitter argument involving the stay-at-home mom that tries to hand over the kid(s) the second Dad gets home from work.) Plus lack of close extended family ties has probably caused the degradation of many conservative/religious values, which is part of the reason there's less of a stigma associated with divorce.

I believe that there's definitely an association between the elevated divorce, and the near universal acceptance of premarital sex.

In both situations we see the erosion of a conservative/religious-based stigma.

Since the stay-at-home mom is no longer the only end goal for women, there's probably much less fear of a woman losing her marketability so to speak. Plus career minded women will take longer to get married, which means skipping sex all together in her early 20s (I'm sure that's a completely reasonable expectation) if she isn't willing to settle for some strange with a little less implied commitment.

A lack of a strong family culture probably results in quite a few more wolves sneaking into the hen house, not to mention the disproportionate number of women who leave home for college (57% of all college students are female) so the hens kind of go to the wolf house.

Plus in the era gone by there was a lot more fear to it, I think. I assume in 1940 the main birth control method was pull and pray. I figure there's a lot less shot gun marriages for that reason too.

Bottom line it's really freaking complicated. Because we're talking about a change in behavior patterns of a 300 million person population, divining an answer to inflated divorce rates based on the assumption that everybody sucks now, but didn't suck before (the less believable portion of that equation) is a little ridiculous, and implies that 1) Every divorce has at least one villain. 2)Married people are better/more mature/less selfish than their divorced counterparts. This sweeping generalization is irresponsible.

I agree with everything you have said here very well stated as well.

 

[skidadl]

Baconator. Pshaw.

I thought it was nice of them to let WB be on the list.

 

[Cotton]

Apparently this list was put together by someone who has not been to the south enough.

 

[townsend]

town, that was a really good post. There are definatly many reasons. I think that it's worse than the overall numbers. Right now the baby boomers outnumber everyone else. Those that are in longer term marriages already tend to stay in them. I'd you remove their numbers from everyone else, I'd say that what is left if probably worse.

The divorce rate in the church is just as bad. So it's not just unchurched people. It is the whole that has lost its mind. The postmodern church doesn't practice its own religion.

Actually divorce rates are decreasing, since they hit their peak (sometime in the 90s). Of course we have the lowest marriage rate in the nations history as well. Likely people who would have had a failed marriage by now have opted out altogether.

Also the median marriage age has raised by nearly 4 years since the start of the 80s. I think this means that more people are getting married because they want to, not because they feel like it's what they're supposed to do.

Of course an unwed couple with children that splits up is basically the same thing as a divorced couple, but aren't as neatly accounted for. So we might have just as many broken homes, with different titles.

When it comes to the church, I suspect there are probably both people who are more committed to sustaining their marriage out of a sense of religious obligation, and people who get married to the wrong freaking people, because they're probably more likely to believe that they're supposed to get married. Also more broadly, just because you go to church doesn't necessarily mean you feel accountable to the pressures of the congregation, especially in something so serious as a divorce, and frankly I'd assume a congregation would be more likely to mind their business now than they would in previous generations. These are just guesses, it could just be people are people and that church going doesn't affect their willingness to divorce one way or another, which would be a little depressing.

 

[skidadl]

Divorce rates overall? Are you talking newer marriages or does the number include baby boomers?

 

[skidadl]

http://www.americanthinker.com/2013/06/divorce_rates_threaten_marriage_more_than_a_doma_repeal.html

Divorce Rates Threaten Marriage More Than a DOMA Repeal
By Sara Stringer


peAs the Supreme Court deliberates on whether the Defense of Marriage Act holds constitutionally, the nation focuses on the constitutional implications of gay marriages. Yet even without the addition of same-gender marriage, the social institution of traditional marriage continues to change and evolve with culture and time. As a result of the dramatic culture shifts of the past few decades, America continues to face a devaluation of traditional marriage not at the hands of the gay and lesbian community, but rather because of a phenomenally high divorce rate.

The American divorce rate continues to be above 50%. First marriages experience a success rate of 40-50% and subsequent marriage success rates offer diminishing returns.

Marriage offers individuals a high happiness quotient and provides a strong backbone for America's families. As a social institution, it continues to provide strong infrastructure for those who are able to commit to and maintain their vows. However, social mores change. Increases in premarital cohabitation and sex, as well as the cultural acceptance of divorce, contribute to a growing marriage crisis in this country.

More couples cohabit premaritally than ever before. This ongoing trend establishes cohabitation as a significant relationship milestone that often precedes more traditional commitment-based milestones like engagement. While many young people accept cohabitation as a logical step in the progression of a relationship toward marriage, the living arrangement actually leads to unfavorable divorce rates.

The sequence in which couples practice cohabitation determines the success rate of their eventual marriages. Those who enter the cohabitation arrangement on the basis of a commitment like an engagement enjoy lower divorce rates than those who stumble toward marital vows after a period of cohabitation. Experts believe that this discrepancy is accounted for by relationship inertia -- those who cohabit together experience a de facto commitment because they find less exposure to other partner options and become increasingly financially and emotionally invested in their relationships. These factors drive some cohabiting couples to marry even if the sense of commitment is not there, as marriage seems like an unavoidable next step.

Promiscuity and premarital sex also provided a staunch challenge to traditional marriage. As young people engage in sexual activity with multiple partners, they often create a craving for this diversity of sexual partners throughout their lives. The monogamous nature of most marriages proves stifling to those accustomed to a variety of partners.

However, while these changes in culture affect the divorce rate, it is the cultural acceptance of divorce itself as a remedy that keeps divorce rates high. Those in successful marriages experience higher rates of financial stability and happiness; however, our culture continues to become more accepting of divorce versus providing support to make marriages work for the long haul. Political figures like Newt Gingrich, pop culture personalities like Kim Kardashian, and others demonstrate divorce as a common approach to fixing imperfections within a marriage.

Marriages offer stable family structures and tremendous support systems, and they help America stay wholesome and focused. But keeping a marriage strong takes work. Couples must communicate with each other openly, establish boundaries, and learn to compromise. Divorce may provide an "easy way out," but the separation creates financial and emotional rifts that stall success and growth. The well-being of America depends on strong marriages.

To maintain a strong marriage, couples should offer one another respect, loyalty, and honesty. Successful marriages benefit from acceptance and laughter, which can help break the tension of the pressure of life's bigger challenges. Remembering special occasions like anniversaries helps, too. Couples should go out of their way to give thoughtful anniversary gifts that show thought and love. Tokens such as these also offer reminders of past successes and perpetuate good behavior.

The country needs to refocus its attention on building strong families through successful traditional marriages. While it is possible that same-gender marriages will become part of the structure of American society, the more overt threat to American strength and stability is the divorce rate that demonstrates that nearly one in two of all first marriages fail. For America to remain stable and strong, we must rebuild the foundation of lasting marriages as the backbone of the country. Our financial and emotional health depends on it.


Read more: http://www.americanthinker.com/2013/06/divorce_rates_threaten_marriage_more_than_a_doma_repeal.html#ixzz2cwztYUPR
Follow us: @AmericanThinker on Twitter | AmericanThinker on Facebook

 

[skidadl]

I didn't really verify the article and I don't know the arthur.

It was just an interesting thing that I ran across while I was checking out divorce rates.

 

[Jiggyfly]

Those who enter the cohabitation arrangement on the basis of a commitment like an engagement enjoy lower divorce rates than those who stumble toward marital vows after a period of cohabitation.

How does she know the difference?

 

[Clay_Allison]

How does she know the difference?

most studies are self reported surveys. they ask the couples they polled.

 

[townsend]

Divorce rates overall? Are you talking newer marriages or does the number include baby boomers?

Haven't been able to find definitive data on those points. There's just less divorces.

Found a decent article http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-myth-of-the-high-rate-of-divorce/00011473/2

Cliff's notes: The 50% marriage statistic is grossly oversimplified. Economic factors make a huge impact, poor/young/uneducated women are far more likely to get divorced than educated/prosperous folks. (If accurate this would imply that premarital sex isn't the death of marriage, since it's highly unlikely college educated women marrying old have held so long to their virtue.)
Chances of divorce fall precipitously after 10 years.(So I'd assume the decreased divorce rate is probably not a change in older generations divorces, since they're relatively rare as is.)

 

[UncleMilti]

Before I got married, my wife and went to marriage counseling where we were told the cultural acceptance of divorce is the number one cause of failed marriages. The sheer influence of social media and interconnectivity has played a part, too. Text to your friend that you are having issues in your marriage, and all of a sudden the man or woman has 10 people giving them advice, many who have probably been divorced themselves or worse yet, have no experience in marriage at all.

People are usually told to "end the marriage" or just "find someone else" the minute things start to go a little south in a relationship. The acceptance of failure also leads to cheating outside the marriage. Couples aren't willing to go thru the effort needed to make a marriage work. Its easier to find someone else, throw up your hands, and say it didn't work out.

Back in the day, it was shameful and embarrassing to get a divorce. Women were shunned if they had been married and then been thru a divorce. Almost like they were damaged goods.

Today, getting a divorce is like going thru a drive thru. Don't like what you just ordered? Throw it out, drive back around and pick something else off the menu.

 

[skidadl]

I don't claim to know the data but you almost can't include the divorce rate of the baby boomers to get a feel on what is going on in todays culture. Since there are more of them the numbers are skewed a bit, IMO.

 

[skidadl]

Before I got married, my wife and went to marriage counseling where we were told the cultural acceptance of divorce is the number one cause of failed marriages. The sheer influence of social media and interconnectivity has played a part, too. Text to your friend that you are having issues in your marriage, and all of a sudden the man or woman has 10 people giving them advice, many who have probably been divorced themselves or worse yet, have no experience in marriage at all.

People are usually told to "end the marriage" or just "find someone else" the minute things start to go a little south in a relationship. The acceptance of failure also leads to cheating outside the marriage. Couples aren't willing to go thru the effort needed to make a marriage work. Its easier to find someone else, throw up your hands, and say it didn't work out.

Back in the day, it was shameful and embarrassing to get a divorce. Women were shunned if they had been married and then been thru a divorce. Almost like they were damaged goods.

Today, getting a divorce is like going thru a drive thru. Don't like what you just ordered? Throw it out, drive back around and pick something else off the menu.

Yup.

Another thing I would say is that we have greatly devalued gender. In years past women were seen as precious commodities. Something that you couldn't get cheaply. When a woman's value goes up her security goes up. Before a man knew that he couldn't get married to a woman unless he knew that he was giving up his life for her. The woman holds the ultimate prize (vagina) that can only be had at the cost of a man's life. That is real value.

Now we teach our daughters that the cost of her body and life are less than it was before. We teach them that she doesn't really have to wait until marriage to give herself up. Now the cost is lower than that. The only cost is that she loves someone. At that point the commitment level is much lower than marriage. The collateral is lower. The guy can take what he wants and back out of the commitment much easier. Sex is supposed to be the final step in completing the contract that secures a woman for life.

I was reading up on the old Jewish way of doing things and found some cool information. A man was required to bring the equivalent of $120,000 to the table before a father would give up his daughter. He gave it as collateral for her guaranteed virginity. So a man had to be prepared to the point that he had 2 years salary available. He was willing to put his life and money on the line for her until the marriage was consummated. The groom would go to the house of the bride while the whole family waiting outside. He would have sex with her and bring out a cloth with blood on it to prove her virginity and everyone would celebrate together.

 

[NoDak]

I'm pretty sneaky, tho. I'd just punch her in the nose to get some blood for the cloth.







I kid. I kid.

 

[skidadl]

Lol, I thought about something like that when I was typing.

 

[L.T. Fan]

B ah.

 

[L.T. Fan]

In all this windfall of multiexpressionism, the Slane girl has been slain.

 

[Clay_Allison]

Yup.

Another thing I would say is that we have greatly devalued gender. In years past women were seen as precious commodities. Something that you couldn't get cheaply. When a woman's value goes up her security goes up. Before a man knew that he couldn't get married to a woman unless he knew that he was giving up his life for her. The woman holds the ultimate prize (vagina) that can only be had at the cost of a man's life. That is real value.

Now we teach our daughters that the cost of her body and life are less than it was before. We teach them that she doesn't really have to wait until marriage to give herself up. Now the cost is lower than that. The only cost is that she loves someone. At that point the commitment level is much lower than marriage. The collateral is lower. The guy can take what he wants and back out of the commitment much easier. Sex is supposed to be the final step in completing the contract that secures a woman for life.

I was reading up on the old Jewish way of doing things and found some cool information. A man was required to bring the equivalent of $120,000 to the table before a father would give up his daughter. He gave it as collateral for her guaranteed virginity. So a man had to be prepared to the point that he had 2 years salary available. He was willing to put his life and money on the line for her until the marriage was consummated. The groom would go to the house of the bride while the whole family waiting outside. He would have sex with her and bring out a cloth with blood on it to prove her virginity and everyone would celebrate together.

Wow, looks like we're not doing too bad. We may not have marriage figured out but we're a long way from parents selling their daughters as slaves for a big cash prize.