- Joined
- Apr 7, 2013
- Messages
- 120,196
So, this is not an easy thing for me to tell people, and I'm probably going to ramble. My wife knows about this and that's about it. I have suffered from some fairly severe anxiety and depression over the last little while (about 10 years) and I couldn't figure out what was going on. I felt I couldn't catch my breath at times it got so bad. Not sure why I'm sharing this with you guys outside of the fact that we have been basically family for years. I have struggled with this. I have not gone to counseling but I probably should. This shit can feel devastating.
I feel like sharing this with at least someone will help me get through this. This is really hard. My heartrate is above normal most of the time. I'm quite sure my blood pressure is too high most of the time. It hurts in a way that is very hard to describe. You can call it a sinking feeling. Like the world is positioned against me. I write this because I feel it might be mentally beneficial to just tell someone. This shit sucks. I am normally very secretive about my feelings and feel like even telling you guys breaks the man card promise, but someone needs to hear this. Mental issues are a serious thing, and I almost feel like I am on the brink of losing my mind sometimes.
After reading what I typed again it sounds stupid. I guess my reasoning is not only to mentally help me rehabilitate but to also tell other people that may be dealing with shit like this that it is okay to talk about it. You aren't weak. There is just something wrong. I am trying to find what is currently wrong with me. I will find it. I am a very confident and decisive person, so this really throws me for a loop. Pray for me, or do whatever you do when someone you know is in distress.
BTW, I am not suicidal.
I feel like sharing this with at least someone will help me get through this. This is really hard. My heartrate is above normal most of the time. I'm quite sure my blood pressure is too high most of the time. It hurts in a way that is very hard to describe. You can call it a sinking feeling. Like the world is positioned against me. I write this because I feel it might be mentally beneficial to just tell someone. This shit sucks. I am normally very secretive about my feelings and feel like even telling you guys breaks the man card promise, but someone needs to hear this. Mental issues are a serious thing, and I almost feel like I am on the brink of losing my mind sometimes.
After reading what I typed again it sounds stupid. I guess my reasoning is not only to mentally help me rehabilitate but to also tell other people that may be dealing with shit like this that it is okay to talk about it. You aren't weak. There is just something wrong. I am trying to find what is currently wrong with me. I will find it. I am a very confident and decisive person, so this really throws me for a loop. Pray for me, or do whatever you do when someone you know is in distress.
BTW, I am not suicidal.