ExtremeSkins Fan View: Cap Hell Rocks!
By Arthur Mills
ExtremeSkins.com
March 16, 2006
Don't hate us because we're beautiful.
No more blank, wondering stares, confused head scratching, frothing emotional outbursts, conspiracy theories or embarrassing, dismissive references to 2000. The Washington tater skins are the central theme of every NFL team message board out there. Here's a message to you all from all ExtremeSkins fans everywhere.
It's time to embrace the reality of it all. Simply, we're better than you.
That's it. Look no further. We are better than you. We're more fun. It feels better to be us. We've got flair. We're audacious, capricious, bodacious, supercalifragilisticxpalidocious.
Are you finally getting it?
Yes, yes, I know cap hell was supposed to be upon us. I know that's what you've been told. I feel for you, I really do. As you come to realize we're better than you, a second bit of stark reality must also penetrate. We're smarter than them.
Repeat after me.
The Washington tater skins are managed, coached and owned by highly professional people who know more about running a football franchise than ALL the unnamed, anonymous sources any reporter has yanked from the broom closet and quoted.
Don't take my word for it. Take the following words for it.
Brandon Lloyd, Antwaan Randle El, Adam Archuleta, Andre Carter, Todd Collins, Christian Fauria.
The question you all should be asking isn't, "How is all this possible?" No. The question should be, "How didn't we know this was all possible?"
Six years of assurances cap hell was on the way and you still allowed yourself to believe the tripe. Perhaps busting the cap hell myth as it relates to the Washington tater skins is just too painful a thing for media and fans of other teams to do.
Like a child coming to the harsh knowledge Santa doesn't exist, the media and opposing teams' fans are struggling desperately to hang on to the fiction that cap hell is on the way for the tater skins despite--literally--YEARS of demonstrated contrary evidence.
Here's the best part. You don't have to hate us for what we're doing. You can do it, too.
"The thing I want to emphasize is this: We haven't done one thing that anybody else can't do," Joe Gibbs said after the introductory press conference for Andre Carter. "We have certain rules in the league. Here's the cap, here's the numbers, here's what you can spend, so everybody in the league can do what we're doing, it's just that they choose not to, many of them."
Deep down, this is really the issue, isn't it? You can do it too and you know it, but, your team doesn't do it, so, you have a hard choice. Hate your team, or hate us.
Say you're a fan of the Philadelphia Eagles. You always have all those many millions available, which somehow never seem to get spent. All week you're hearing how you have LeCharles Bentley locked up as your free agent masterstroke to solidify your offensive line.
You are giddy. You're thrilled. You know this is the guy you need. He fills a need and makes it a strength. You're excited about the prospects of adding such a substantial piece. Then, the Cleveland Browns call, offer a few more bucks to Bentley and Bentley winds up in Cleveland leaving you with nothing more than whimpering excuses that Bentley is from Cleveland and always wanted to play there.
Oh, hush. Antwaan Randle El is from Chicago. He's always wanted to play there. Yet he's playing in D.C. Adam Archuleta admits he adores Lovie Smith after years playing for him with St. Louis and wanted to play with him in Chicago. Yet he's playing in D.C. Andre Carter just had to meet the Broncos because his father played there 12 years and he envisioned being the second generation of his family with the team. Yet he's playing in D.C.
And it's driving you crazy because you were so excited and thrilled about the prospects of adding a good player your management and owner can't figure out how to land while we get EVERY single player we shoot at. We get to actually live the thrill and giddiness you only get to brush up against. And it's killing you.
Did we pay a premium for generally young players entering their prime with years left to play in the NFL? You bet we did. Kind of like when the Eagles lock up their own young players for a premium before they really emerge on the scene and everyone calls that genius. Think of it like that, only, with the component of actually being smart because an expensive 24-year-old promising receiver suddenly becomes a very cheap 26-year-old receiver when he grabs 80 balls.
See, we already had good players under contract. Now we have more.
As you struggle to find words to describe the coming cap doom heading our way, try to process one final thought. When you have that free agent you need all lined up and you don't get him, well, isn't that really what cap hell feels like?
I wouldn't know, because I don't ever have to feel that way
@ the Redskins.
