2014 Regular Season Predictions for the Dallas Cowboys

[L.T. Fan]

Alrighty then. I'm taking names of all you doomsday prophets.

 

[Simpleton]

You can rebuild a team damn fast in the NFL as long as you have the cap space. The sad part is we have absolutely no cap space and probably won't for at least a year after cutting Romo. If this team does bottom out this year I hope we just cut Romo. It's not personal but this team will never be able to rebuild with his massive contract on the books. Having him mentor a young QB for a year wouldn't do us any good other then to set us back for another year.

Yea if we had a competent front office it would be very easy to rebuild, if we get some luck with a QB we basically have an entire offense ready to go. We could easily rebuild the defense in an offseason with cap space and draft picks, we just won't because Jerry is an idiot.

 

[Simpleton]

The only hope for this defense is that it looks much better with the multiple starters that we didn't see during preseason. How you don't try and get a guy like Melton some game time to shake the rust off is beyond me.

It's possible that the defense is decent if various players work out but it's just very unlikely and probably wouldn't be until about 6-8 games into the season once Lawrence and Spencer are back with a few games under their belt anyway.

 

[Rev]

Alrighty then. I'm taking names of all you doomsday prophets.

Put me on the list.


5 wins.

 

[ravidubey]

The only hope for this defense is that it looks much better with the multiple starters that we didn't see during preseason. How you don't try and get a guy like Melton some game time to shake the rust off is beyond me.

In Jerry Jones' mind

* Henry Melton is in 2012 form
* Anthony Spencer and Jeremy Mincey are in 2011 form, providing the pass rush they so desperately need
* DeMarcus Lawrence will be in 2015 form and set NFL records for sacks in a half season
* Terrell McClain and George Selvie (again) give the team "I'm glad to be a Cowboy" surges.
* Josh Brent doesn't get suspended, is somehow in the football shape he was in just before his accident, and starts at 1-technique
* Okoye recovers perfectly from the mysterious disease that no one understands that puts him in a coma when his body undergoes physical trauma... like being hit
* Ronaldo McClain wants to play football. Really this time. Oh yeah, and he dominates because he was drafted in the 1st round.
* Justin Durant's best season. Ever.
* Kyle Wilber goes from barely playing to a pro-bowl quality Sam LB.
* Hitchens and Smith rotate to form one fine Will LB. The future is set.
* Barry Church gets faster, grows stronger, and finds it in his heart to learn to hit, cover, and intercept the ball
* JJ Wilcox shows the world why he was taken in the 3rd round and becomes the team's enforcer
* Morris fucking Claiborne stops turning in random performances and proves he's deserving of a top 10 CB
* Scandrick comes back in 2013 form after his suspension, and Terrance Mitchell and Sterling Moore perform well in his stead
* Sean Lee returns to Mike LB in December (wink, you get that new injury exemption, doncha know /mickey) just in time to bring this gusher home.

It would take many football miracles for any one of these things to happen.

The reality is your 2014 Dallas defense is:

Solid: Durant and Carr
Still-recovering and rusty: Crawford and Melton
Hilariously green and over-drafted: Hitchens, Wilber, Smith
Untalented: Hayden, Church, Terrell McClain, Mitchell, and Heath
Over-the-hill: Mincey
Underachieving and Spineless: Claiborne, Ronaldo McClain, and JJ Wilcox
Half a Season Late: Scandrick, Lawrence, Spencer

Week one there will be no pressure on Kaepernick. There will be no one to stop Frank Gore and Carlos Hyde. Vernon Davis is a matchup nightmare. Even Michael Crabtree might look good.

Offensively Dallas needs to run, run, and run to keep this hot mess of a defense off the field, but Garrett/Linehan will call 70 pass plays citing a need to "outscore" San Francisco to win. We are as dysfunctional an organization as there is.

 

[L.T. Fan]

Put me on the list.


5 wins.

Yeah. That's how many you have on your avatar. That is if you count the thumb.

 

[NoDak]

Well there's 2 minutes I'll never get back again.

 

[data]

It is not pronounced that way. Feh. Stress the "eh".

Almost like you were going to say "Fuck", then just don't give a shit anymore after you say the eff.

I lost my shit at that part.

"I give the prospect of the Cowboys making the playoffs a big..."

~long pause~

"...FAY"

 

[data]

Damn. Overwhelmingly 7-9 or less. Maybe I should've created a '5-11 or less'.

Only 3 days left before poll closes. Last chance.

 

[Genghis Khan]

I still think 8-8 is most likely.