How to (easily) quit this team

[midswat]

The other day I had a long PM exchange with @NoDak where he asked me how I overcame the sickness that is being a Dallas Cowboys fan. After I explained it to him, he sent a number of long winded messages praising me for my brilliance, my resiliency, before ultimately making it weird by asking for pictures of my belly button. But he also recommended I share this with you all...

Back story: I was a die hard like I guess everyone here. Flew to Dallas from Virginia multiple times to see games. Bought my kids Cowboys swag. Spent countless wasted hours posting and moderating Cowboys forums. Planned life events and work related issues just so I could watch the Cowboys play. True story: when I was a Realtor, I had people call me about one of my listings. Problem is, it was a Sunday afternoon and we were about to play the Jaguars. So instead of meeting them and trying to close the deal, I referred them to a colleague. They ended up buying the house. I made the commission as the listing agent, but I could've had commission for the sales agent as well had I not been such a diehard. Cowboys played like shit and we lost that game, btw.

My point is simply that there was a time in my life when I lived and died by this team. I. Could. Not. Get. Enough.

When he was initially hired, I bought into Garrett. He mostly looked and sounded the part and I liked the idea of a home grown coach. Good story. Plus I loved the team so I was rooting for him.

After the three straight 8-8 seasons where had we won our week 17 game, we'd get into the playoffs, only to see us lose - I was done with Garrett. I suspected he was a fraud prior and there were countless frustrations... but it was then that I basically started rooting for losses.

Around that time was the Jerry Jones post game interview where a reporter (name escapes me) pressed Jerry after a loss to Atlanta, on him being a shitty GM and if he'd change. Jerry just had that shit eating smirk and kept reiterating the team was at an advantage with him in charge.

So it was during that time frame when I grew an intense disdain for the head coach, the owner, and oh by the way the game day experiences were mostly inconsistent, underachieving, and even embarrassing. One Sunday, I just had an epiphany:

I just asked myself what I was doing? Why am I supporting this team? And more importantly.... if I knew in the infancy of my fandom what I knew now, would I still do it? In other words, if I some way some how could go back to, say, 1997 with the knowledge that the next 15 years would be what they were, would I still spend every Sunday in front of the TV? Or argue endlessly on forums? Would I still spend hard earned money on gear and games?

The answer was no.

Okay then... knowing that, I then had thought to myself, with this owner, his family, his coach, how they run the organization, et cetera - is there any reason whatsoever to think anything would be different over the next 15+ years?

Again, the answer was no. So what was the point?

Loving the Cowboys is like loving a addict who doesn't think she has an addiction. You keep hoping things'll get better, but they don't. Because just like the addict doesn't think they have a problem, the Jones family doesn't think they're the problem. They're making money hand over fist and they've got a rabid, idiot fan base that will never stop supporting, no matter how bad times get.

Once you come to peace in knowing that this team is not only wasting your time, but also pissing on you and calling it rain... its easy to stop supporting. They're taking advantage of you. Just like once you realize the addict, or abuser, or cheater, will never change... it becomes easier to just walk away.

To still be a fan of this team is akin to an abused wife who's called the cops a dozen times on her husband, but refuses to press charges or leave because of some misguided thought that Jerry loves you and Jerrys gonna change. So if you're still a Cowboys fan after all of this... that's on you. Jerry gave you another black eye last night. Put your shades on and tell everyone who asks that you bumped your face on a wall. Keep lying to yourself that it'll be better.

 

[yimyammer]

Around that time was the Jerry Jones post game interview where a reporter (name escapes me) pressed Jerry after a loss to Atlanta, on him being a shitty GM and if he'd change. Jerry just had that shit eating smirk and kept reiterating the team was at an advantage with him in charge.

pretty sure this is the interview referred to:

 

[Texas Ace]

Once I put my mind to it, it wasn't hard at all.

I don't keep up during the offseason, the draft, training camp or watch any of the preseason. And now, I miss multiple games during the regular season and it doesn't bother me one bit.

The little remaining interest I have in the team stems from having been a fan for so long and the great times I shared with some of the most important people in my life watching them win Super Bowls in my adolescence.

But I don't even know if you can call what I am today a "fan". Sure I want them to succeed, but I don't make the effort at all to watch games. If I'm home and they're on? Sure, I'll tune in. But there are and have been plenty of times over the last few years where I'm home and I'd rather play video games or watch a movie than to watch them play.

I don't get upset at all when they lose and I don't get all that excited when they win. It's just kind of like a passing interest now.

And you know what? I don't regret any of it. Every time I see Garrett's smug and arrogant comments or hear Jerry reaffirm that he's going to be the same guy he's always been, it makes me feel better and better about the decision to leave this team behind.

I've said this before, but even if Jerry changed right now and they hired Belichick tomorrow and this team won 5 straight Super Bowls, I still wouldn't be the fan I was before.

It's too far gone now and that doesn't bother me one bit.

There are far more important things in life that are worth your time than a stupid dysfunctional sports team.

 

[Foobio]

 

[Sheik]

Once I put my mind to it, it wasn't hard at all.

I don't keep up during the offseason, the draft, training camp or watch any of the preseason. And now, I miss multiple games during the regular season and it doesn't bother me one bit.

Exact same.

There was like a 14 year stretch where I watched every single draft pick, 1st pick through the last pick of the draft. I didn’t miss a single solitary game, with the only exception being Chad Hutchinson’s start against Indianapolis(I believe) due to a power outage.

These days when week one hits, I don’t know who the starters are for the most part on defense outside of the staples. I either didn’t know, or I forgot about Randall Cobb song on the team until he caught a ball in the opening game of the season. It’s rare that I know who the team selected unless it’s a high profile 1st rounder.

Football(Cowboys in general)went from something I’d plan my week around, to something that if I have absolutely nothing else interesting to do, I’ll watch.

Some of that may be due to maturing and having more responsibilities that put things in perspective, but still, losses don’t bother me like they once did. A loss could ruin the whole next day for me. Now I get some sort of sick satisfaction when they get beaten and when I hear announcers and commentators dog them.

I’m certain the satisfaction of the negative is knowing that Jerry feels the criticism. He’s probably the worlds most successful failure. And I really hope he never sniffs another super bowl. I’d love to see that family lose everything like Rocky Balboa did, maybe a bad investment by Spaulding or something.

Fuck Jerry and his whole family. Even his innocent grandkids, fuck any babies in his family too.

 

[Texas Ace]

I just asked myself what I was doing? Why am I supporting this team? And more importantly.... if I knew in the infancy of my fandom what I knew now, would I still do it? In other words, if I some way some how could go back to, say, 1997 with the knowledge that the next 15 years would be what they were, would I still spend every Sunday in front of the TV? Or argue endlessly on forums? Would I still spend hard earned money on gear and games?

The answer was no.

Okay then... knowing that, I then had thought to myself, with this owner, his family, his coach, how they run the organization, et cetera - is there any reason whatsoever to think anything would be different over the next 15+ years?

Again, the answer was no. So what was the point?

Very very similar to my thought process when I made the conscious decision to walk away.

That first season was hard, the second one was a lot easier. After that, it just came naturally due to a lack of interest.

But like you, I talked to my dad and just kind of asked "What was the point?"

Why get all riled up over a sports team that doesn't give back anywhere close to what you put into it? Even if they were successful, they'll never repay you for all of the time or the emotional and financial investment. But with this disaster of an organization?

Had I known then what I know now, I would've moved on earlier. Because none of what I have experienced as a fan from 1997 till now was ever worth it. The lows always had more of an impact than the highs.

And if the last 15 or so hadn't been worth it, then certainly the next 15 wouldn't be either.

It is one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I feel bad for folks who can't walk away. And I don't mean in that in a smug or uppity way nor am I suggesting I look down at people who can't. But I feel sorry for the fans who truly love this team and want things to change but yet can't move on from them.

If they ever built up the desire to do so, they'd quickly realize what a great decision it was to do so and they'd question why they hadn't done it sooner.

It's just not worth it.

 

[Texas Ace]

Exact same.

There was like a 14 year stretch where I watched every single draft pick, 1st pick through the last pick of the draft. I didn’t miss a single solitary game, with the only exception being Chad Hutchinson’s start against Indianapolis(I believe) due to a power outage.

These days when week one hits, I don’t know who the starters are for the most part on defense outside of the staples. I either didn’t know, or I forgot about Randall Cobb song on the team until he caught a ball in the opening game of the season. It’s rare that I know who the team selected unless it’s a high profile 1st rounder.

Football(Cowboys in general)went from something I’d plan my week around, to something that if I have absolutely nothing else interesting to do, I’ll watch.

Some of that may be due to maturing and having more responsibilities that put things in perspective, but still, losses don’t bother me like they once did. A loss could ruin the whole next day for me. Now I get some sort of sick satisfaction when they get beaten and when I hear announcers and commentators dog them.

I’m certain the satisfaction of the negative is knowing that Jerry feels the criticism. He’s probably the worlds most successful failure. And I really hope he never sniffs another super bowl. I’d love to see that family lose everything like Rocky Balboa did, maybe a bad investment by Spaulding or something.

Fuck Jerry and his whole family. Even his innocent grandkids, fuck any babies in his family too.

Dude, this was me.

Like Midswat said in his OP, my life truly revolved around this stuff. My entire weekend was planned around these games.

If they won? I was over the moon for an entire week, and if they lost, I literally couldn't sleep sometimes. I remember the 2008 loss at Pittsburgh made me sick. I didn't eat for the rest of the day and I didn't fall asleep till almost 3 am because I was so upset.

It all seems really silly upon reflection, but this stuff meant so much to me.

Now, like you, I can't tell you who all the players on the team are come opening day. I have no clue how this or that guy performed leading up to week 1, etc. When this Cowboys season officially ends, I will be totally and completely disconnected from NFL football until September.

It's why I stopped playing fantasy football over 5 years ago. I honestly don't keep up with the happenings of the NFL anymore so I can't tell you who's hurt, who's playing poorly or who went where.

Maybe some of that is getting older. But whatever it is, I find myself wondering now why this ever meant so much to me in the first place.

I'm just glad I figured it out while I'm still a relatively young man.

 

[yimyammer]

fuck any babies in his family too.

omg, my sides are hurting I'm laughing so hard

 

[Texas Ace]

I’m certain the satisfaction of the negative is knowing that Jerry feels the criticism. He’s probably the worlds most successful failure. And I really hope he never sniffs another super bowl. I’d love to see that family lose everything like Rocky Balboa did, maybe a bad investment by Spaulding or something.

That would be hilarious of Spaulding ala Paulie gave someone power of attorney and the Jones' lost the Cowboys to a new ownership group.

Life isn't that fair, though.

 

[yimyammer]

That would be hilarious of Spaulding ala Paulie gave someone power of attorney and the Jones' lost the Cowboys to a new ownership group.

Life isn't that fair, though.

What a dream that would be!

At this point, I'd give back the last 3 super bowls and take my chances in exchange for jeri & his spawn never having anything to do with the cowboys

 

[Smitty]

Out of curiosity, how do I "@" someone who has a two-word user name, like Texas Ace?

 

[Texas Ace]

I know we joke about this all the time, but it really is a bit shocking that not even the Jones' have a breaking point.

They have to look around the league, especially with a team like the Patriots, and see how they've appeared in more Super Bowls in 18 years than the Cowboys have appeared in the playoffs in the same span.

That is both an incredible and sad statistic, especially when you take into account that the Cowboys are supposed to be a marquee franchise.

I just don't get how they can watch the Patriots celebrate another championship and then look each other and say "Maybe we need to consider changing some things up?"

Nothing about the way they operate suggests that they're frustrated with the results of the last 25 years or that they intend to change it up in any way. As crazy as it might seem to the average fan, these guys really don't seem to be affected at all by what happens around the league and how much "prestige" the Cowboys organization loses with each year.

If they don't care and it's not about a Super Bowl, then what exactly is the point?

 

[Texas Ace]

Out of curiosity, how do I "@" someone who has a two-word user name, like Texas Ace?

I just tagged myself.

Type @ and then start typing immediately afterward and it should auto populate.

 

[Smitty]

Regarding the OP, sadly, that is the state of sportsdom in general, mostly. Obviously the Cowboys have been a dumpster fire for 20 years now, but most professional sports teams are relatively similar in their ultimate futility. Only a small handful of the best run franchises win about 70% of the championships. The rest of the teams fight for the one-off lucky run to glory that they can hope for once every quarter to half century or so.

The reality is, unless you are to buy in to constant heartbreak and disappointment, then there is no reason to be a die-hard. I have a friend who is a Packers fan -- one of the more competitive and successful teams of the generation -- and he also feels like the Aaron Rodgers era has been squandered and was a waste, despite year-in, year-out success, but only one Super Bowl.

I will say, Jerry Jones inflicts a special kind of trauma, because he has so many resources that he chooses not to utilize, the main one being, not removing himself from the GM position.

I find as I get older, I'll never really be able to "quit" the Cowboys, I don't think, but I definitely find myself saying "I have no interest in even watching this week. If I check in later and see they are winning, maybe I'll turn it on. But I'm not subjecting myself to the expected distress of seeing them flounder from the first snap anymore."

 

[Smitty]

I just tagged myself.

Type @ and then start typing immediately afterward and it should auto populate.

You're right, but I don't ever recall it auto-populating on the old board. Good to know.

 

[Texas Ace]

The reality is, unless you are to buy in to constant heartbreak and disappointment, then there is no reason to be a die-hard. I have a friend who is a Packers fan -- one of the more competitive and successful teams of the generation -- and he also feels like the Aaron Rodgers era has been squandered and was a waste, despite year-in, year-out success, but only one Super Bowl.

And I would agree with that.

As great as Rodgers has been, they rarely surrounded him with a good defense or any truly elite skill position players on offense.

They also made the mistake of holding on to McCarthy for too long.

But I would tell your friend that the huge difference between the Packers underachieving and the Cowboys underachieving is that the Packers didn't do so deliberately. Because when I look at how the Jones' run a dictatorship and absolutely refuse to change up, I see that as a deliberate intent to hold the team back.

So while I would still be frustrated if I were a Packers fan, I wouldn't feel insulted like I do now.

That is what separates the Cowboys lack of success from most everyone else's.

It's deliberate.

 

[Smitty]

Yeah, there's definitely a difference between the Cowboys and Packers, I'm just saying, can you name a team besides the Patriots who you would say have had a better 10-20 year run than the Packers? Since Rodgers took over in 2008?

The Ravens maybe? Steelers? Seahawks?

That's about it.

And their fans are sick with that org's "mismanagement."

 

[Simpleton]

I'll always be a fan, and invested to some extent, but the key thing I've found is to not be as emotionally invested as I was in my younger days and to compartmentalize what the team is.

Losses used to ruin my mood for days, now I might be annoyed/frustrated for an hour, if that. I used to obsess over personnel decisions, now I realize that there is going to be a never-ending string of decisions made, some will work out, others won't, but there's no point in being emotionally invested in a never-ending cascade of transactions.

I'll watch the games as much as I can, because why not, but I'm not going to let it dictate my schedule nor compromise my mood indefinitely. I guess what I'm getting at is that I don't really see the point of "not being a fan" if you're able to not let the bullshit affect your time, mood, etc. anymore and you have your eyes wide open about what this team is and how it's run.

The flip side of it is that I'm not as passionate about the wins anymore, even though I still enjoy them, but I'll take that tradeoff.

 

[bbgun]

That would be hilarious of Spaulding ala Paulie gave someone power of attorney and the Jones' lost the Cowboys to a new ownership group.

Life isn't that fair, though.

We need some sort of King Ralph scenario where everyone dies and some lounge singer from Milwaukee takes over the team.

 

[Foobio]

if somehow Jerry could be compelled to yell the N-word in a Kramer-esque style press conference...