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Romo Apologizes to the Giants
By Michael Tunison
New York Giants running back Rashad Jennings recently apologized in the New York Post to quarterback Eli Manning for telling reporters Manning ordered Jennings to stay out of the end zone in the waning moments of Sunday night's last-second loss to Dallas. Now, the quarterback who benefitted from the gaffe, sends his regards.
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***
Dear New York Giants,
Let me start off by saying that I'm sorry that I exploited your team's extremely polite refusal to score a touchdown late in the 4th quarter on Sunday night. You were simply being considerate guests in AT&T Stadium. What I should have done was make a feigned effort like I was going to steal the game right out from under you, but instead thrown an interception that once again earned me the ridicule of a nation. My bad.
You see, I have authored quite a few 4th quarter comebacks in my career. 29 of them now, to be precise. But no matter what I do, I get labeled a choker by every casual football fan in the world, as well as some football "experts" who should know better. I swear, you mishandle one field goal attempt in the playoffs and you can never live it down.
So I just had to do what I did. I don't feel great about it, but I want you to understand where I'm coming from.
{related}I'm sorry, Eli Manning. I can see it's already a trying season for you, what with watching your old brother's arm falling off. I can see this only added to your grief. Hang in there, pal. Oh, and beat Philly for me. Thanks!
I'm sorry, Tom Coughlin. You're probably getting fired soon, but you've had a good run! Two rings. I'd kill for two rings. Oh, and doesn't that movie with Robert DeNiro playing an intern look interesting? I bet it has a lot of jokes about millennials and their cell phones. You love those.
I'm sorry, Ben McAdoo. You kind of look like what Kevin Smith would be if he tried to be a jock. I mean that as a compliment, though!
Anyway, I'll see what I can do to make you all look a little better in the rematch later this season.
Yours in the NFC East,
Tony Romo
* * *
Mike Tunison is a freelance writer based in Alexandria, Va. He is the former editor of the popular NFL humor blog Kissing Suzy Kolber, for which he created a lifetime's supply of fabricated and wildly profane Philip Rivers dialogues. A graduate of the University of Maryland's Philip Merrill College of Journalism, he was once on track for a career in newspapers until in 2008 he was fired from The Washington Post for blogging on the side. He is the author of the book "The Football Fan's Manifesto." You can follow him on Twitter at @xmasape.
By Michael Tunison
New York Giants running back Rashad Jennings recently apologized in the New York Post to quarterback Eli Manning for telling reporters Manning ordered Jennings to stay out of the end zone in the waning moments of Sunday night's last-second loss to Dallas. Now, the quarterback who benefitted from the gaffe, sends his regards.
Related Stories
Rashad Jennings apologizes to Eli for throwing him under bus ProFootball Talk on NBC Sports
Giants RB apologizes for 'negative light' he cast on Eli Manning SB Nation
Eli Manning inks contract extension with New York Giants AFP
Longtime rivals Manning, Romo should have a few more battles The Associated Press
Cowboys beat Giants in thriller Reuters
13 Wrestlers That Sold Out Shamelessly Answers Sponsored
***
Dear New York Giants,
Let me start off by saying that I'm sorry that I exploited your team's extremely polite refusal to score a touchdown late in the 4th quarter on Sunday night. You were simply being considerate guests in AT&T Stadium. What I should have done was make a feigned effort like I was going to steal the game right out from under you, but instead thrown an interception that once again earned me the ridicule of a nation. My bad.
You see, I have authored quite a few 4th quarter comebacks in my career. 29 of them now, to be precise. But no matter what I do, I get labeled a choker by every casual football fan in the world, as well as some football "experts" who should know better. I swear, you mishandle one field goal attempt in the playoffs and you can never live it down.
So I just had to do what I did. I don't feel great about it, but I want you to understand where I'm coming from.
{related}I'm sorry, Eli Manning. I can see it's already a trying season for you, what with watching your old brother's arm falling off. I can see this only added to your grief. Hang in there, pal. Oh, and beat Philly for me. Thanks!
I'm sorry, Tom Coughlin. You're probably getting fired soon, but you've had a good run! Two rings. I'd kill for two rings. Oh, and doesn't that movie with Robert DeNiro playing an intern look interesting? I bet it has a lot of jokes about millennials and their cell phones. You love those.
I'm sorry, Ben McAdoo. You kind of look like what Kevin Smith would be if he tried to be a jock. I mean that as a compliment, though!
Anyway, I'll see what I can do to make you all look a little better in the rematch later this season.
Yours in the NFC East,
Tony Romo
* * *
Mike Tunison is a freelance writer based in Alexandria, Va. He is the former editor of the popular NFL humor blog Kissing Suzy Kolber, for which he created a lifetime's supply of fabricated and wildly profane Philip Rivers dialogues. A graduate of the University of Maryland's Philip Merrill College of Journalism, he was once on track for a career in newspapers until in 2008 he was fired from The Washington Post for blogging on the side. He is the author of the book "The Football Fan's Manifesto." You can follow him on Twitter at @xmasape.
