Advice About Spanking Your Child(ren)

Cotton

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So, I have only spanked my son maybe 5 times in his entire life. Two things. One, I made it count when I had to. Two, he is smart enough to extrapolate from those spankings what not to do. I chose very carefully the times I would go to that extreme. My daughter was completely different. Spanking did not work with her. She just couldn't connect what I was doing to what she did wrong, so I took a different approach with her. I took shit away from her. This afforded me the ability to be able to remind her of why she didn't have all of her stuff. This worked very well with her.

I can say that I'm a big proponent of spankings if that is what you see is most effective, but at the same time it is not for every child.

I wasn't sure how good of a parent I would be when we first started trying to have our first, and I'm not 100% sure I've done everything right even now, but I can tell you my kids are well-minded, so I did something right.
 

L.T. Fan

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So, I have only spanked my son maybe 5 times in his entire life. Two things. One, I made it count when I had to. Two, he is smart enough to extrapolate from those spankings what not to do. I chose very carefully the times I would go to that extreme. My daughter was completely different. Spanking did not work with her. She just couldn't connect what I was doing to what she did wrong, so I took a different approach with her. I took shit away from her. This afforded me the ability to be able to remind her of why she didn't have all of her stuff. This worked very well with her.

I can say that I'm a big proponent of spankings if that is what you see is most effective, but at the same time it is not for every child.

I wasn't sure how good of a parent I would be when we first started trying to have our first, and I'm not 100% sure I've done everything right even now, but I can tell you my kids are well-minded, so I did something right.
Children are more likely to display their upbringing away from home when at a friend's home or other social functions. If you want to get a barometer on what you are teaching your child, observe them in these environments. Often times the parent is the last one to be able to see how they are doing teaching the child but when you observe them being courteous and interacting then as a parent you get to enjoy you efforts. It's a good feeling for someone else tell you your child utilized good manners and respect.
 

Cotton

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Children are more likely to display their upbringing away from home when at a friend's home or other social functions. If you want to get a barometer on what you are teaching your child, observe them in these environments. Often times the parent is the last one to be able to see how they are doing teaching the child but when you observe them being courteous and interacting then as a parent you get to enjoy you efforts. It's a good feeling for someone else tell you your child utilized good manners and respect.
I agree, and we have been told many times, by many different parents, that my son is very well-mannered. My daughter not so much. :lol Occasionally, she gets away from home and loses her ever loving mind. It's rare when she does it, but it happens.
 

Jiggyfly

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Like most have said it depends on the child each one responds differently to each type of discipline.

Spanking should never be used to dominate or take out frustration but it is a useful tool to grab the attention of a child, I believe there should always be an explanation of the wrong doing after a spanking so the child is not scared of you.

I grew up with corporal punishment in school and we had some sadistic coaches and teachers who loved to give swats for any infraction but even then I think most kids turned out ok.
 

Rev

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I agree, and we have been told many times, by many different parents, that my son is very well-mannered. My daughter not so much. :lol Occasionally, she gets away from home and loses her ever loving mind. It's rare when she does it, but it happens.
No she does not.
 

skidadl

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So, I have only spanked my son maybe 5 times in his entire life. Two things. One, I made it count when I had to. Two, he is smart enough to extrapolate from those spankings what not to do. I chose very carefully the times I would go to that extreme. My daughter was completely different. Spanking did not work with her. She just couldn't connect what I was doing to what she did wrong, so I took a different approach with her. I took shit away from her. This afforded me the ability to be able to remind her of why she didn't have all of her stuff. This worked very well with her.

I can say that I'm a big proponent of spankings if that is what you see is most effective, but at the same time it is not for every child.

I wasn't sure how good of a parent I would be when we first started trying to have our first, and I'm not 100% sure I've done everything right even now, but I can tell you my kids are well-minded, so I did something right.
You kids are well behaved so I'm pretty sure you know what you're doing. Or maybe you just lucked into good kids. Ha!

Naw man, I've made a ton of mistakes with my kids. Sometimes you just gotta laugh at yourself about all of it. Some things that I thought were super important ended up not being important, other things I should have focused more on. I was much harder in my older two boys but did too much for them. Stuff like making sure things were lined up for their success and all. I should have let them fall ok their face sooner in some areas. Simple things like getting places in time on their own and learning from their own mistakes sooner. For example, since my wife had been sick we stopped getting following our kids around the house making sure they were ready on time. Now, if they need to be at the gym at school early or something we just leave it all up to them. If they are late or blow it they suffer their own consequence. They cook their own breakfast and deal with their own lunches. They even manage their own schedules and remind us of their events. My 13 year old daughter keeps a great schedule on her iPod now. She made the varsity cheer team and has a bunch of stuff to do so she has her one reminders for everything. The faster they are independent the better for everyone. With my older boys I road their ass constantly to make sure everything was perfect. Now of my kids blow it they suffer their own consequences and embarrassment for sucking. My daughter missed and important sheet meeting and had to run a bunch of laps. She's was pretty upset and I was like, "you shoulda managed your time better, now get me some tea and move outta the way of the TV." She was pissed but she got in line quickly. This things will make her a better adult in the long run and I didn't yell at her or spank her for being late.
 

Cotton

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No she does not.
How has she been when she has been with y'all without us there? She sometimes tends to have a bit of an attitude when we aren't there.
 

Rev

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How has she been when she has been with y'all without us there? She sometimes tends to have a bit of an attitude when we aren't there.
We have never seen it. Granted there have only been a hanful of times when y'all weren't there but never had any attitude other than just a happy child.
 

skidadl

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Like most have said it depends on the child each one responds differently to each type of discipline.

Spanking should never be used to dominate or take out frustration but it is a useful tool to grab the attention of a child, I believe there should always be an explanation of the wrong doing after a spanking so the child is not scared of you.

I grew up with corporal punishment in school and we had some sadistic coaches and teachers who loved to give swats for any infraction but even then I think most kids turned out ok.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you got your ass busted for disagreeing with everyone. :art

I fell into the catagory of everyone at school thinking that all I needed was a good ass busting and my life would be better. Every coach, teacher and principal took turns busting my ass all through school. Some coaches really had a good time on my ass and went overboard. You gotta love the poor white kid problems I had. #trailerparkforlife
 

skidadl

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Iamtdg it sounds like your daughter is outta control. You probably should go find her and spank her.
 

Jiggyfly

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I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you got your ass busted for disagreeing with everyone. :art

I fell into the catagory of everyone at school thinking that all I needed was a good ass busting and my life would be better. Every coach, teacher and principal took turns busting my ass all through school. Some coaches really had a good time on my ass and went overboard. You gotta love the poor white kid problems I had. #trailerparkforlife
Yeah you are way out on a limb I hardly ever got into trouble as a kid, I was talking about the glee they showed when paddling other people.
 

skidadl

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Yeah you are way out on a limb I hardly ever got into trouble as a kid, I was talking about the glee they showed when paddling other people.
So you developed a keen ability to be the most disagreeable person on the planet as an adult? I'm impressed that you didn't start earlier for as good as you are at it.

:drums
 

Cotton

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We have never seen it. Granted there have only been a hanful of times when y'all weren't there but never had any attitude other than just a happy child.
That's really good to hear. I guess it never dawned on me to ask you that before. She has been our challenge. The boy fell into line pretty quickly, but she has been a bit of a challenge. I feel like we have done okay. With her we have had to try to find that fine line, because she doesn't always understand what's going on, and most times can't communicate back to us her side of things. But, I can tell you this, she makes it one helluva fun ride.
 

Cotton

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I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you got your ass busted for disagreeing with everyone. :art

I fell into the catagory of everyone at school thinking that all I needed was a good ass busting and my life would be better. Every coach, teacher and principal took turns busting my ass all through school. Some coaches really had a good time on my ass and went overboard. You gotta love the poor white kid problems I had. #trailerparkforlife
I got busted a lot as a kid, too. Not necessarily at school, but at home. One year my dad was also my teacher at this church school I went to that year, and every time I got busted (by him) at school, I would also get busted when I got home (for getting busted at school). It was a long year let me tell you. :lol
 

Cotton

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Iamtdg it sounds like your daughter is outta control. You probably should go find her and spank her.
:lol

You joke, but when she throws attitude, only her momma can rival her.
 

skidadl

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My 10 year old daughter is a great student and generally a good kid but she can be a real pain at times. My wife has spanked her about 10 or so times. I've spanked her maybe 2-3 times. She never gives me a crazy attitude but does to my wife when I'm gone.

Oldest boy 23 - hard headed and in trouble a lot
Second boy 20 - compliant kid doesn't want to cause trouble but had been in trouble with his brother some
Third boy 17 - nice kid with loads of talent in everything he does but tends to be lazy and gets by on talent alone
Fourth boy 15 - compliant, quiet, artistic, A student, never complains at all...I've spanked him once
First daughter 13 - sweet girl, dingy, happy all of the time but occasionally gets emotional and attitude when the special time of the month rolls around. Spabked her maybe 3-4 times in her life
Second daughter 10 - baby of the family, load, obnoxious, doesn't get embarrassed, farts in public, hard headed

It's is crazy that they all have the same parents but all are different in temperament and such. You can't change their personalities at all. If you have a strong willed kid and can harness that you will likely have a really strong leader and achieve as an adult.
 

Jiggyfly

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So you developed a keen ability to be the most disagreeable person on the planet as an adult? I'm impressed that you didn't start earlier for as good as you are at it.

:drums
I don't have that issue usually and I don't have that issue with the majority of this board.

For some reason you and a couple of others just like to come at me and then get indignant when I hold my own.

It's good to see you continue to be denigrating toward me every chance you get, how long have you carried that character trait.
 

Angrymesscan

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My kids are 9 and 7 and I've never spanked either, though I know my wife has about twice each I think.
I agree you should never do it out of anger/frustration in the heat of the moment (though that's the type that my wife administered), but I think once things calm down kids get as much from a good talk as an asswhooping, especially hardheaded ones. My 9 year old boy is amazingly easy to reason with and he gets it, so there's absolutely no need for it, and my 7 year old girl you could whip within an inch of her life that she would not concede, so it would be useless. We just try to reason with them and they seem to be turning out just fine.
 

Cotton

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I don't have that issue usually and I don't have that issue with the majority of this board.

For some reason you and a couple of others just like to come at me and then get indignant when I hold my own.

It's good to see you continue to be denigrating toward me every chance you get, how long have you carried that character trait.
Oh yeah, play the victim role. That fits you much better.
 
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