I did not. I guess I'm not that traditional. It isn't that I didn't/don't respect my FIL because by all accounts he is a very respectable man, but I think I just felt as though it would have kind of been an empty gesture. By that I mean if he had said "No, I don't approve of you and I forbid you to marry my daughter" it would not have changed my decision or hers. I suppose I could have approached him and said "I'm going to ask your daughter to marry me. How do you feel about that?" but again, his response was not going to change our decision.
I don't even really remember how much thought was put into it. I don't think a whole lot. In retrospect the decision to forgo that step may have been a bit of a line in the sand saying "We are not you and we do not share all of your values and traditions", to sort of set an expectation going forward. But like I said, I'm not sure if we even thought about it that much.
At a certain point there really wasn't any real doubt that we were going to get married anyway. We had been seriously dating for a few years and had gotten an apartment together at that point. They surely knew it was coming and had every opportunity to voice their displeasure had they been opposed. For the record, they were not opposed and I have always had a good relationship with them. That continues to be the case to this day.
I have two daughters of my own now and I do not expect to be asked for my blessing if someone wants to marry them. If they do, cool. If not, I certainly understand why. That's not to say I will necessarily approve of who asks to marry them, obviously, and I'm sure I will try to steer them away from anyone who I think is bad news or a bad fit. Ultimately I don't care about the asking permission part, but that is just me.