Sabin: Jerry Jones says Cat scan showed he has ‘brain of a 40-year-old’

[jsmith6919]

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says Cat scan showed he has ‘brain of a 40-year-old’




By Rainer Sabin / Reporter
rsabin@dallasnews.com
2:55 pm on August 28, 2013 |

ARLINGTON – Some wonder if Jerry Jones is slowing down. He’s 70 years old. But the Cowboys owner insists he is as mentally sharp as he was when he bought the team in 1989. A recent visit to the doctor convinced him he has the perspicacity of someone nearly half his age

“I’ve been told that I have, by Cat-Scans, that it’s like the brain of a 40-year-old,” Jones crowed. “…The guy really did not know it was me. I was there anonymously. He said, ‘And so I just wanted to come down. I saw your chart. I know how old you are. That part is really impressive.’”

Whether Jones’ claim will reassure fans who have seen the Cowboys win two playoff games in the last 17 seasons is uncertain. But Jones remains confident in his abilities to manage an organization that has failed to earn a Super Bowl title since January 1996.

“I know more about what I’m doing than hopefully I did 25 years ago,” he said, referring to the time he entered the NFL as an owner.

Jones’ comments came, of course, one day after his son, Stephen, the team’s executive vice president, declared, “We’re convinced we’ve got the secret sauce to put this thing back together again and win championships.”

By promoting Jerry’s 40-year-old brain and Stephen’s secret sauce this week, the Jones Family seems to think the Cowboys have what it takes to return to glory. They and everyone else will soon find out if they’re right.

 

[Cotton]

Love the avatar.

 

[1bigfan13]

Love the avatar.

It is nice.

We should make it the official DCC banner or at least a banner option.

 

[boozeman]

Avatar WIN

 

[UncleMilti]

Mother. Fucker.

 

[VA Cowboy]

They found a brain?

 

[Simpleton]

So Jerry reads CT scans now on top of normal X-rays.

At least Jerry earned everything he has and had a history with Jimmy and Parcells. The real nightmare is that all his entitled genetic lottery winning descendants know about running a team comes from Jerry himself.

If we think things are retarded now, just wait until Stephen and Charlotte's snot-nosed kid take over.

The only thing stopping that now is Jerry's 40 year old brain.

Yea but it should at least be entertaining.

Things will get so bad that the entire fanbase will be in full on revolt for the most part, I don't think his piece of shit offspring have the ego or thick skin that Jerry has to be able to endure all that though.

 

[junk]

Great thread. I'm convinced he's losing it.

What a press whore though. Seriously, do a Google News search for him and compare it to anyone who is actually good at their job in the NFL.

 

[jsmith6919]

Love the avatar.

It is nice.

We should make it the official DCC banner or at least a banner option.

Avatar WIN

thanks its just Jerry looking for him some glory hole

 

[bbgun]

I wonder how old the grapefruit sized tumor is.

 

[Landry]

Jerry certainly hasn't used his brain enough to put any wear or tear on it.

 

[EZ22]

Sup Juke.

 

[2233boys]

FFS

 

[E_D_Guapo]

Jerry Jones says CT scan showed he has ‘brain of a 40-year-old’

Jerry Jones says CT scan showed he has ‘brain of a 40-year-old’

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says CT scan showed he has ‘brain of a 40-year-old’
By Rainer Sabin / Reporter
rsabin@dallasnews.com
2:55 pm on August 28, 2013 | Permalink

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. (Matthew Emmons / US PRESSWIRE)

ARLINGTON – Some wonder if Jerry Jones is slowing down. He’s 70 years old. But the Cowboys owner insists he is as mentally sharp as he was when he bought the team in 1989. A recent visit to the doctor convinced him he has the perspicacity of someone nearly half his age.

“I’ve been told that I have, by CAT Scans, that it’s like the brain of a 40-year-old,” Jones crowed. “…The guy really did not know it was me. I was there anonymously. He said, ‘And so I just wanted to come down. I saw your chart. I know how old you are. That part is really impressive.’”

Whether Jones’ claim will reassure fans who have seen the Cowboys win two playoff games in the last 17 seasons is uncertain. But Jones remains confident in his abilities to manage an organization that has failed to earn a Super Bowl title since January 1996.

“I know more about what I’m doing than hopefully I did 25 years ago,” he said, referring to the time he entered the NFL as an owner.

Jones’ comments came, of course, one day after his son, Stephen, the team’s executive vice president, declared, “We’re convinced we’ve got the secret sauce to put this thing back together again and win championships.”

By promoting Jerry’s 40-year-old brain and Stephen’s secret sauce this week, the Jones Family seems to think the Cowboys have what it takes to return to glory. They and everyone else will soon find out if they’re right.
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[bbgun]

reeeeeeepost!

 

[boozeman]