Sabin: Jerry Jones says Cat scan showed he has ‘brain of a 40-year-old’

boozeman

28 Years And Counting...
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Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says Cat scan showed he has ‘brain of a 40-year-old’




By Rainer Sabin / Reporter
rsabin@dallasnews.com
2:55 pm on August 28, 2013 |

ARLINGTON – Some wonder if Jerry Jones is slowing down. He’s 70 years old. But the Cowboys owner insists he is as mentally sharp as he was when he bought the team in 1989. A recent visit to the doctor convinced him he has the perspicacity of someone nearly half his age

“I’ve been told that I have, by Cat-Scans, that it’s like the brain of a 40-year-old,” Jones crowed. “…The guy really did not know it was me. I was there anonymously. He said, ‘And so I just wanted to come down. I saw your chart. I know how old you are. That part is really impressive.’”

Whether Jones’ claim will reassure fans who have seen the Cowboys win two playoff games in the last 17 seasons is uncertain. But Jones remains confident in his abilities to manage an organization that has failed to earn a Super Bowl title since January 1996.

“I know more about what I’m doing than hopefully I did 25 years ago,” he said, referring to the time he entered the NFL as an owner.

Jones’ comments came, of course, one day after his son, Stephen, the team’s executive vice president, declared, “We’re convinced we’ve got the secret sauce to put this thing back together again and win championships.”

By promoting Jerry’s 40-year-old brain and Stephen’s secret sauce this week, the Jones Family seems to think the Cowboys have what it takes to return to glory. They and everyone else will soon find out if they’re right.
 

EZ22

The One Who Knocks
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:lol

I swear Jerry has gotten wind of fans like we have here, and he's just trolling us.
 

bbgun

please don't "dur" me
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hopefully he has the heart of a 90 year old
 

jsmith6919

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lmao this is too much, anonymous catscan smfh
 

Bob Roberts

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“I know more about what I’m doing than hopefully I did 25 years ago,” he said, referring to the time he entered the NFL as an owner.
"Hopefully"
 

Cotton

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:stop
 

1bigfan13

Your favorite player's favorite player
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Little blue pills FTW!

Just imagine Jerry chasing Gene around the mansion in his tighty-whiteys shaking his little bottle of blue pills.

Take that image to bed with you.
 
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GForce78NJ

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Little blue pills FTW!

Just imagine Jerry chasing Gene around the mansion in his tighty-whiteys shaking a his little bottle of blue pills.

Take that image to bed with you.
This also made me want to die. I am no longer reading anything from this thread
 

Cotton

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Little blue pills FTW!

Just imagine Jerry chasing Gene around the mansion in his tighty-whiteys shaking a his little bottle of blue pills.

Take that image to bed with you.
Fuck you, man.
 

ravidubey

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So Jerry reads CT scans now on top of normal X-rays.

At least Jerry earned everything he has and had a history with Jimmy and Parcells. The real nightmare is that all his entitled genetic lottery winning descendants know about running a team comes from Jerry himself.

If we think things are retarded now, just wait until Stephen and Charlotte's snot-nosed kid take over.

The only thing stopping that now is Jerry's 40 year old brain.
 
D

Deuce

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Ill trade him a great brain for a crap liver. C'mon Heineken, do your thing!
 
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