DCC Appreciation Thread...

[Cowboysrock55]

Didn't even try to hide it.

 

[Rev]

 

[Genghis Khan]

This guy is gold.

 

[Chocolate Lab]

Does he not realize he's well on his way to Trump hair?

 

[Cotton]

Sean Penn is a dipshit.

 

[Cotton]

 

[Landry]

this is why kids are pussies today, they never had to deal with shit like this.

 

[Chocolate Lab]

 

[Genghis Khan]

I find it hard to believe that parents would let a kid that age roam the streets at night on Halloween by himself.

 

[Rev]

I find it hard to believe that parents would let a kid that age roam the streets at night on Halloween by himself.

Looks like there is somebody there on either a bike, moped, or motorcycle in the background. Have to zoom in to see and that was probably the person's driveway that he rode up on.

 

[Genghis Khan]

Looks like there is somebody there on either a bike, moped, or motorcycle in the background. Have to zoom in to see and that was probably the person's driveway that he rode up on.

I didn't catch that.

 

[Rev]

I had to drive my wife and her little sister to a friend's house Friday night so she could get more candy and it was a madhouse with kids everywhere. It was a white knuckle affair as you never know when those kids are just going to dart across the street. Add in the problems that the costumes can add with peripheral vision and its really amazing that we dont have more accidents than we do.

 

[data]

I had to drive my wife and her little sister to a friend's house Friday night so she could get more candy and it was a madhouse with kids everywhere. It was a white knuckle affair as you never know when those kids are just going to dart across the street. Add in the problems that the costumes can add with peripheral vision and its really amazing that we dont have more accidents than we do.

Prime chaotic conditions for abduction, too

 

[bbgun]

 

[Bipo]

What would happen if every living thing on this planet farted at the same time?


The Setup: A Global FartpocalypseImagine it: ~8 billion humans, trillions of insects, billions of mammals, birds, fish, reptiles, amphibians, and even methane-spewing microbes—all synchronized in one planetary toot. This is a thought experiment in biology, atmospheric science, and sheer absurdity. Let's break down what actually happens, step by step, with rough calculations based on real data.Step 1: Quantifying the Gas VolumeFarts aren't just hot air—they're mostly nitrogen (from swallowed air), plus CO₂, hydrogen, methane (CH₄), and trace stinkers like hydrogen sulfide.

• Humans: Average person farts ~0.5–1.5 liters/day (14 times). Per fart: ~0.05–0.1 liters. 8 billion people × 0.075 L = 600 million liters of gas.
• Livestock (cows, sheep, etc.): Cows produce 200–500 L methane/day via enteric fermentation (cow "farts" are mostly burps, but we'll count gut gas). ~1.5 billion cattle × 300 L = 450 billion liters. Add pigs, sheep: another ~100 billion L.
• Wild animals: Billions of deer, elephants, termites (termite mounds release massive CH₄). Termites alone: ~10¹¹ individuals, each tiny but collective output rivals livestock. Total wildlife: conservatively 1–2 trillion liters.
• Marine life & microbes: Fish fart? Some do (e.g., herring use farts for communication). But microbes in oceans/guts/soils dominate: Global microbial CH₄ ~500 million tons/year. A "single event" spike? Negligible per organism, but scaled: trillions of liters from anaerobic bacteria.

Grand total gas volume: 3–5 trillion liters (3–5 × 10¹² L). That's like filling 1.2–2 million Olympic swimming pools. Converted to mass: Mostly inert N₂/CO₂ (1 kg/m³ at STP), but ~5–10% CH₄ means 10–50 billion kg of methane released instantly.Step 2: Immediate Local Effects

• Sound: A global "BRRRRRRT" at ~80–100 dB per fart. Overlap creates a planetary roar—like 10¹² firecrackers. Audible worldwide? No, sound dissipates, but coastal areas hear a muffled thunder. Seismic stations detect micro-vibrations from trillions of diaphragms contracting.
• Smell: Hydrogen sulfide (rotten eggs) at parts-per-billion stinks up the air. Outdoors, it disperses fast (wind dilutes in hours). Indoors/confined spaces: Eye-watering hell for days. Ocean farts? Bubbles of CH₄ rise, but no one smells underwater.
• Physical push: Gas exits at ~3–10 m/s. For a fly: negligible. For an elephant: ~1–2 Newtons of thrust—enough to nudge it sideways comically, but not fly.

No explosions—farts need 5–15% CH₄ in confined air + spark to ignite. Open planet? Poof, just dispersion.Step 3: Atmospheric & Climate Impact

• Methane bomb: CH₄ is a potent greenhouse gas (28× CO₂ over 100 years). Normal annual human/livestock CH₄: ~300 million tons. This event: 10–50 million tons in one go—equivalent to 5–15% of yearly emissions.
  • Short-term: Tiny blip in atmosphere (total CH₄ ~5,000 million tons). Temperature rise? <0.001°C globally—undetectable.
  • Long-term: CH₄ oxidizes to CO₂ in ~12 years. Adds to warming like skipping a year's worth of rice paddies. No "runaway greenhouse"—Earth's systems absorb it.
• Ozone & air quality: Trace gases cause minor irritation, but dilution wins. No acid rain or holes.

Step 4: Biological & Ecological Chaos

• Timing sync: Impossible in reality (diets, gut biomes vary), but hypothetically? Migratory birds mid-flight: minor turbulence. Fish schools: bubbly confusion, predators disoriented by herring "fart clouds."
• Evolutionary perk? Synchronized release could overwhelm predators (e.g., insect swarms gassing out birds). But mostly: Mass embarrassment for humans—social media explodes with #GlobalFartDay.
• Extinctions? None. Plants don't fart (no guts), but pollen might hitch a ride on gas plumes.

The Punchline: What Really Happens?The planet lets out a collective sigh (or rip). You get a brief, stinky breeze, a funny noise, and a negligible climate burp. Earth shrugs it off in days—atmosphere mixes, winds disperse, life goes on. In equation form for the methane spike:
Let ( V ) = total CH₄ volume ≈
5×10115 \times 10^{11}5 \times 10^{11}
L =
5×1085 \times 10^85 \times 10^8
m³.
Density CH₄ ≈ 0.657 kg/m³ → mass
m=3.3×108m = 3.3 \times 10^8m = 3.3 \times 10^8
kg = 330,000 tons.
Global impact factor: \Delta T \approx \frac{m \cdot GWP_{CH_4}}{M_{atm}} \ll 10^{-3}^\circC (negligible).Fun fact: Termites already "fart" more daily than this event. Nature's been pranking us forever.

 

[Chocolate Lab]

 

[bbgun]

fake?

 

[Chocolate Lab]

fake?

Probably.

 

[Cotton]

fake?

 

[Cotton]

51 years and 365 days feels just like 51 years and 264 days.

Anyone want my Venmo to contribute to my sweet tea fund?