Jason Carrot gives out participation trophys to the pee-wee football team

[deadrise]

Jason Garrett's message to the team after the 30-22 loss to the Los Angeles Rams: "“Incredibly proud of our football team. You talk about mental toughness and physical toughness, they demonstrated that the whole year. A young football team that grew a lot over the course of 16 games and a couple of games in the playoffs. I think we learn from our experiences. I think we grew. I think we got tougher. I think we became a more hardened football team. A lot of young guys grew up and they grew up together. And those are real positive things that we can build on. The Rams were a better team than we were today. They were. And I don't question our effort, our toughness, our fight. Those guys put it all out there. It inspires me. The hair stands up on the back of my neck when I talk about them and think about them. Everything they put out there, it's something else. I love the group of guys that we have. They care about each other. They love each other. They love this game. They go about it the right way. All things that we can build on for the future.”"

Carrot always seems to forget that effort doesn't count for shit in the big boys league. Only the score does. When you've been the coach of a mediocre team as long as he has, it reaches the point where he grasps for anything -- intangibles that can't be measured by a score: toughness, grit, fight, growth. Big fuckin' deal. Did you win or lose? Nobody cares about anything else.

I thought the part about the "hair standing up on the back of his neck" was especially poetic.

 

[Cotton]

Fuck that motherfucker.

 

[UncleMilti]

Thats the stupidest "speech" I've heard or read about in a long time.

The team didn't show a shred of toughness last night and got pushed around like a pop warner team. Fuck his "right kind of guys" mantra.

 

[bbgun]

1

 

[boozeman]

This thread is like the Bat Signal for Schmitty to come defend his lady.

 

[data]

This thread is like the Bat Signal for Schmitty to come defend his lady.

 

[Cotton]

This thread is like the Bat Signal for Schmitty to come defend his lady.

 

[bbgun]

"We weren't outcoached. They just have better players!" /derp

 

[DLK150]

This is pretty much the speech full of canned cliches I expected from this horse's ass.

 

[kidd]

I ain't Schmitty but...

I really don't get all the teeth gnashing and hair pulling over this.

I mean what do y'all really expect?

"Yeah this team sucks! I don't know how we ever won ten games this year! I should probably resign as head coach and tell Jerry to sell the team! Have a great off season guys!"

What self respecting head coach is gonna say that? All he can do is come out and say they were out played and they have to do better, I know it's not what you wanna hear but let's be real for a minute. Nothing he or any other HC says is gonna make you feel better after a loss like that.

I'm no fan of Garrett by any stretch of means but this is just silly!

I'm gonna go back to creating genius threads like "Dak vs Troy" now.

 

[data]

and he always has a shit-eating-grin waiting for the coach who cleaned his clock

I did notice that live when it happened. I mean, there's being a good loser and there's going over the top with it.

I wonder what a psychologist would say, but it's like a defense mechanism. Not sure if it's him trying not show the pain inside or if it's a passive aggressive way to win by showing "You may have beat me on the field, but I'll still beat you personally by outclassing you. I'm better at being a good loser than you being a gracious winner"

 

[Chocolate Lab]

Um, no, he doesn't have to say the team sucks. But he could put some of the blame on himself. He could say how sick these losses make him because these opportunities don't come around every year. He could say giving up franchise records in rushing yardage is unacceptable.

Anything but the eighth grade feel-good cliches he uses every week.

 

[kidd]

Um, no, he doesn't have to say the team sucks. But he could put some of the blame on himself. He could say how sick these losses make him because these opportunities don't come around every year. He could say giving up franchise records in rushing yardage is unacceptable.

Anything but the eighth grade feel-good cliches he uses every week.

And would any of this make you feel better about him as a coach?

Didn't think so.

 

[Cotton]

And would any of this make you feel better about him as a coach?

Didn't think so.

Wouldn't make me feel better about him as a coach, but maybe I would hate him a little less, at least.

 

[Chocolate Lab]

And would any of this make you feel better about him as a coach?

Didn't think so.

It is one reason I can't stand him. Never fully accepts responsibility. Always acts like he's above reproach. Also always acts like he has job security, which of course he does.

 

[kidd]

It is one reason I can't stand him. Never fully accepts responsibility. Always acts like he's above reproach. Also always acts like he has job security, which of course he does.

You mean like when Bill Parcells used to say "I don't coach penalties!"

 

[bbgun]

I mean what do y'all really expect?

Fans were pissed. That wasn't the time for a "glass half full" "scratch and claw" soliloquy.

 

[Sheik]

If they extend Garrett, I just can’t anymore.

At what point as a head coach is enough, enough? At what point do you go over to your defense and get in their face and challenge them to show some backbone? 150 yards rushing? 200 yards? 225?

Does anyone else notice he leaves that shit to Richard? He’s supposed to be the leader.

 

[GShock]

If they extend Garrett, I just can’t anymore.

At what point as a head coach is enough, enough? At what point do you go over to your defense and get in their face and challenge them to show some backbone? 150 yards rushing? 200 yards? 225?

Does anyone else notice he leaves that shit to Richard? He’s supposed to be the leader.

It’s coming. Accept it.

We are going to commit millions and years to mediocrity this off-season. Garrett, Dak, Byron Jones.

The next 5 years will be written.

 

[shane]

I no longer feel bad about fantasizing about his murder